Gah, why I'm back here you ask? Simple, cuz I want to write out the current issues I have now. Let's start with the dilemma I'm facing now yea?

In *checks clock* 20 mins,(it was 6pm when I started typing) my Muay Thai training is gonna start. Remember how much was I raving about the cca a month ago? Apparently, with the obstacle standing in between my waning interest for it and me, the scales are tipped so much towards the option of not going. And I find the real reason for not going so stupid yet try as I might, I'm dragging/ forcing myself to go to each week training.

The reason I dislike training? The arduous run before each training. Yea, I know =.= the reason is so stupid.. Best part? I joined this cca BECAUSE they run and I'm interested in the fighting technique (unlike Aikido, which puts me to sleep.)

I already skipped two coach trainings which I paid for. 10 trainings in total are 60+ dollars. So one is around 6.00+. And I skipped last week training at all, which means I should go down today, er now.

Haiz, it's strange but not joining the Fight Team put me off this cca more then ever =.= Nope, still not regretting. Maybe only regretting buying the equipment cuz I feel like quitting ._____.
Oh well, I think I will still go today. I brought everything alrdy and feel less like skipping once I type ^those paragraphs down. Though I will be going in later cuz I wanna finish this post first. *prays punishment for being late won't be too harsh*

Now, that's one issue that I'm worried about.

Second, (dun hate me for still thinking about this issue :X) Em. Yes, I know I sound so damn optimistic in that last last post. But apparently, since that week and two odd normals with a full team. Em is missing from LoL. Nope, she still plays alone at odd days BUT each time I invite, she's not going. I wonder if it's partially due to me. Cuz me and my bro, two weeks ago offered to play a game that she wants to play, with her. Which is Eden Eternal or Eternal Eden (dunno which E comes first). Anyways, she is forsaking LoL for EE. Which might make sense seeing that she plays LoL since Close beta. So she might grow tired of it.

But, I'm missing her. I'm missing playing with her, talking to her while in game, her lessons, her random remarks, her fury (not at me :P), the closeness we had and mostly? Her presence in my life.

Nowadays, she isn't even on Skype which makes talking to her hard. Because the place to find her is EE. Which she either ignores me, too busy to talk to me or juz misses my whisper to her. These few days, my only communication to her is either asking her questions about the game or juz a basic greeting in-game. Even telling her about LoL, just get a no ans.

Which leads me to question, is she giving up on LoL or she just refuses to play with us. Then it makes me question myself, should I push her to play with me when I offer? Should I force a lengthy talk with her? Should I instead of saying good morning, to her when we are on EE, should I juz be direct and say I missed her? Or the next time she is on Skype, I should start my conversation with that?

The only reason I'm playing EE is cuz, it's the only way I can communicate with her. Essentially, the last link I have to her. It's not like I can search for her friend, 'Claire' through LoL.. Pffft. I'm on a standstill regarding her. I long to have a talk with her but unfortunately, dunno her well enough to anticipate her reactions and go for a route with the most success. There, I admit, I dun really know her well. I dunno her enough to form a scenario with her personal response. All I have, is to base her response on what ppl usually response to. Which is risky. But I think, I gotta get this over and done with. Letting this silence, this NOTHING fester between us is bothering me to no end. It's not like letting it stay there will evoke some miracle to repair that hole between us.

Yes, I am sorely missing her. I'm missing the days that we had earlier, sorely too. But we can't rewind time. And I wished that I had some warning that those days won't last.. If not I would have cherished them even more.

Hmmm D: How? Pat isn't really doing much anymore. He's all set to give up Em cuz he feels that he have done enough. I'm not ready to give her up but she's slipping away from me. And I can't talk to Pat anymore about this matter cuz I think I he doesn't really wanna care about it anymore and there's no one else to talk to about this.. Jo? He doesn't even really play LoL these few days. And besides the two, my bro is the one left but he doesn't care. Not close to the rest so ... haiz.

I miss the days which once I am on the computer, a Skype convo is bound to be on, people will definitely be talking about LoL related stuff or their life. And NOT what we are having now, calling only when required, barely talking to each other at all.

And if all those that I type are so fantastical, not bound to happen anymore, someone please wake me up to the harsh and bitter truth so that I stop hoping for the past.

Pat is too nice to do it. My brother doesn't care. Jo MIA. Flamez,cube and veigar is in a different world. I think, I hope, I wish that if it boils down to that, that Em be the one to wake me up. Pat will do too. But it will take a lot for him to be that different.

Argh, I'm getting myself down and I dun feel like going training anymore..

So far, assignments are alright. I'm aiming to survive week by week. But the only reason this week is so slack it's cuz IE and DFX lessons are now changed to lessons to do assignment 2. And it's own time own target.. hence the slightly lesser things to hand in.

Buttttt, I still have to keep my own schedule if not I'm screwed by the time I have to hand in assignment two =.= damn it.

Screw school.Screw Life. I just want to return to my early LoL days.

Heck, I think I should juz return to the days that I fly solo. Less heartstrings tugged, less matters to worry about, all I need to think is to how to improve myself. That's all I have to worry about and not a combination of them.

And yes, I'm still ambitious. My current ambition for LoL is to become a renown Ashe player. Not necessarily the best but at least be known for it. Yea, I know, my dream is to live in the virtual world.

Anyway, besides the four letter word,LIFE.. .. I got another path open for me in terms of what to specialise in.. Welcome, Web Designer (:

Learning Dreamweaver in the latest VID lessons.. HTML language is hand-able compared to Flash.. Creating the design part of the web is so interesting too. It's so flexible, juz have to follow what your mind can imagine. Anyway, see my grades how it goes..

Btw, I'm so proud with my recent marks. Triple Bs( CT,CA1,Assignment1) for VID. B+ for Maya, C for my IE1 CT. yea, that's all I recieved.

But I'm so proud that I got B+ for Maya, I'm even better then some DA peeps. (HAH! take that!) As for the Triple Bs, I thought I scored better for CT but oh well.. :X AND YEA I PASSED MY FLASH THEORY!

Keep it up, myself (:

Maya recently is headache-ing cuz we are modeling a human =.= I so prefer non-living things :/

Oh yea, the story about Robin from One Piece which I wrote over my March hols.. is at here. If anyone wanna read it (: Lemme know how u think about it if u read it.

My drawing of Soi Fon's bankai is on hold. As well as the one shot of ZoRo story.. But I'm gonna go back to it..cuz I feel so damn guilty.

Sometimes, I wish that Life wasn't so complicated.