So.. it took me a month and 5 days to feel like writing and wanting to continue my left off post.. I dun have a really legit reason for that one month.. besides the fact that it was towards the end of my assignment so I had something to do everyday.. :X

The five days? Well, gaming, sleep, stay up, gaming, sleep.. you get the idea.. lol. Basically, gaming all I can because I didn't game that much since the start of the year. Anyway, onto the post yea..? Where did I stop at?

Instead, I had went back to Netball for one week, fell horribly ill for one week, had a first taste at something that was leading up to a relationship, had a first time spending New Year's eve outside, had a even more horrible time rushing for things, had a long period to think about certain matters, had run away from issues that I dislike and had regrets so early in the year.

So what's left is first taste, rushing things, long period, running away and regrets.

Well, rushing things.. Let's say that I left my only-holiday-assignment towards the end. And the three skill test for a chance to go overseas internship and a story to craft. Anyway the last week of my holiday, I was sick, rushing for things and was in the middle of emotional turmoil.



Emotional turmoil cuz I met and gotten close with a guy over my online game and skype. We met up for the first time during the preparation of a offline race with my brother and two other friends. Then we had the race for an entire day. After that, I met him again.. and the two of us caught a film, MI 4 and had lunch. The last time we met was when it was two days before school re-opened.. He came for breakfast and accompanied me to the library while I did my work. My work took so long that I ended up having dinner with him too.. After the dinner, at home, he called and explained that he wanted to ask earlier but I went off before he could ask.. Yes, he asked if I wanted to go out with him.. you know, as a couple.
Well, before you go on gushing.. or wondering or anything.. it didn't turn out well.. It was really a bad time becuz like I say, I had assignments to rush and was sick. Anyway, it didn't turn out well cuz we are now like.. hardly talking, hardly interacting and I do feel guilty. He apologizes before like it's a bad thing to confess.. Which it isn't and I'm guilty that because of this.. He might be affected.
It's not that I'm not interested in him or anything but that's all I feel. I juz want to know him more, it's like curiosity. I'm curious at what is he like and I want to know him more. I'm curious about how dating is like and etc.. And I felt that it's not fair to him. He seems like he genuinely like me while I'm juz curious and probably leading him on.
Anyway I ran from him and this issue and after the initial rejection, I sorta dislike any contact by him and didn't reply him and juz avoided him online.
I know, wrong reaction, wrong actions and wrong decision but that's what I did during then and yes this is my regret. I regretted that I didn't handle it properly and this caused me to have a extremely large rift between us and the group of friends since I'm usually the one that links him to the group.
I also sorta feel guilty that this issue had caused another relationship(?) to turn for the worst..
Argh, I dunno how to fix things with him.. I'm really confused and lost and clueless on this matter. One thing is for certain though, it's too late to fix things and I really handled things wrongly... sigh.

As for the overseas internship, I got called back for an interview but I can say that the interview was a flop.. I was unprepared and generally knowledge-less and probably answered wrongly.. Oh well..

Ok, i'm getting depressed so I will continue my goal setting and elaborating at another time.