=DHope To Be Always Happy=D

2012-01-12T18:32:00.002+08:00

I'm late for a list of new year resolution.. but so many stuff has happened within that four weeks(?) Well, I will talk about that later.. First.. new year resolution.. my past year one.. let's take a look.

New Year Resolution 2011

take better care of my gum..lols(my gum seems to be sunken or smth..)
So.. i did well, try to brush my teeth more often.. Not too sure if it works but oh well..
hit level 100 for maple character(long way to go..)
Stopped maple after i hit 80+
Enjoy my course no matter wat i choose
I am looking for things to enjoy and i gotta say that I enjoyed second year more than first year.
roughly know wat do i want to do(rather lost now)
Learnt that web designing was fun and web coding isn't too bad. I still love writing stories and am not too bad at making interactive ones. Unity is fun (:
improve my skills of gunz ^^
Stopped Gunz after picking LoL
learn something new (besides the things that i have to learn)
I gotta say.. I did.. I actually had a lot of lessons on some issues this past year.
keep in contact with secondary sch frens ^^
Netballers, check. Well, it's harder to keep in contact with netballers but it's not too bad. As for the ladies, well, I will say a BIG THANK YOU to the people who made an effort to organise birthday celebrations.. (: That kept us in touch.. Cheers to another year of this :P
make new friends ^^ lols
Oh god.. when I wished for this.. i never expected that it will come true..in such a way.. Both online and real life.. i had made friends.. and while I won't say that they are no good.. there has been up and downs.
make my blog more active(?) lols
Failed this lol.. Probably one post per month or more if I'm dang angst-y.
finish things that i start
I have left many things undone..

So that's for the past year. And I have something to confess, I think I make new year resolutions and forget about them. Lols. So.... Since I have some knowledge as to how to modify a website... I'm gonna make a new column at the side to remind myself.. That's if I actually remember about it but yea. I'm gonna make it more prominent rather than just putting it in a post and forgetting all about it till the next year of jan. I will be updating my wishlist while I'm at it too.. Later, when I reach home.

Yea, I'm currently at the NP library..And cause I gotta head home soon.. Let's say that I will do my wishlist and new year resolution later.. I promise.. :X

For now, I had always wonder how can things happen at such a short time. In just four weeks, stuff happen.. so many stuff. Best part, I was looking forward to a quiet 2 week holiday break..

Instead, I had went back to Netball for one week, fell horribly ill for one week, had a first taste at something that was leading up to a relationship, had a first time spending New Year's eve outside, had a even more horrible time rushing for things, had a long period to think about certain matters, had run away from issues that I dislike and had regrets so early in the year.

So yep ^that all happen in 15 days.. I know what you are thinking.. "why are you so busy?" My answer, "I'm sorry but I didn't go looking for them and I don't have a good reason to refuse them when they was about to happen."

Sigh. Even I feel tired when I'm about to recount them..

So, the easier things first k?

Yes, I went back to Netball... Got yelled at, can't say I didn't deserve it but it certainly has been a long time since I was yelled at. Lols. Nah, don't worry, I still love Netball.. Was really rushing work + sick and couldn't go for the second week. I enjoy the movement, the thinking that it needs, the adrenaline... now I only need the stamina to do more, as well as the motivation to obtain the said stamina. :X I did miss it though.. Not terribly but yes, I missed it. Thanks for inviting me back (:

Horribly Ill... hmm, was ill for about two weeks++, I had juz recently recovered.. About three days ago or so I think. I did, at some point of time, seemed to have seen blood... And that made me sad.. I had never felt that my body was not healthy.

Like recurring health problems, missing limbs or any disability and I'm really grateful for it. When I fall ill, which is rare, like probably once in three months or smth.. I recover quickly. I also have a more serious and longer bout of illness about one time out of three or smth.. But this time.. It was really bad. Like one of the worse ones.. And eating medicine didn't help much, I feel :/ It juz made me real sad..

To know that my health, well, I wouldn't say that it's failing... it's juz that it's another thing that I have to be aware of. Those who know me, also know that I eat what I want, do what I want, go where I want without a care of my health. Except when I'm sick.

So now, I probably should be more aware of my health.. like juz spare a thought of my health at certain times.. Make sure that I get enough sleep and dun push myself too hard to do all the things that I want to...Sigh.. it's juz another thing to add to my list of worries.

Next on the list... New Year's eve. I spent NYE with the ladies at Marina and let's say it will be my last time going to such a crowded place in a long long time. I rather stay at home. :X On the other hand, the company was nice (: and it has been a long time since I saw fireworks in person. But the crowds and the trip home is so not worth it :/

I will finish this post up later. Think it's time to head home.. it's 7pm though it doesn't feel like 7pm.. :X It's still so bright :O

2011-12-19T00:44:00.002+08:00

And so... it's December again..... How fast time flies... How amazing that so many stuff had happen in the span of 12 months..

I had my first overseas trip with the gals, my first uplifting sem results, found a new game that I'm currently still meshed to, stopped playing Netball (Though i'm returning to it tmr.. I'm SO gonna die...), went SPCA, got lost in the virtual world, learn a couple things in terms of the area of friends, met some amazing ppl, get to know some ppl with interesting situations, enjoy Maya, enjoy life (for a short moment)... Not a very good roundup but my memory is never good. I had always focus more on stuff that are fun and currently still happening.

So...the current new big news is that I finally bought our ps3 :D It's the old FFxiii Lightning edition one (: And it looks awesome :P Juz happy that I finally have it. Been playing ffxiii albeit a lil slowly but still playing. (Cuz i gotta wait for my bro, we play it together) I think it's been here about three weeks alrdy... Juz got resonance of fate, rune factory and ffxiii... we gotta wait awhile before spending again.

Anyway, that's all for the update in my life.. the rest of the post is to settle some matters in my mind. Okay.. maybe not settle but juz to write it out in this outlet...So shoo... unless u wanna read about what happened in my internet life..and dun mind walls of text-es lol..

It has been 6 or 7 months since I played League of Legends and met a group of friends. At first, it was amazing.. Or maybe the first experience or touch of the game was amazing. And nothing can compare to it... Yes, was... In that span of a few months, many things happen... Many incidents occur, different people argued with different people, different ppl left, new ppl came and some stayed, some left, different ppl sided with each other, while some switched sides... It is kinda tiring to have all of these happening.

And sometimes, in a fit of doubt, I gotta wonder.. during this journey, did I change too? Is it good? or bad? Did I make mistakes where if I didn't make them, the consequences would have been different? And I'm not talking about my game.. I meant me as a character..

I'm struggling to remain unique, to remain myself in my actions, thoughts and choices. And yes, it's truthfully very tiring to be struggling.

I am mentally tired for a long time.. I dun enjoy coming online as much as I used to do. I dun enjoy being on Skype as much as I used to do. And I'm clueless how to do so.

Recently, we had not been playing with em.. sorta avoiding her.. it's kinda tiring to play with her then deal with the aftermath.. so yea, not many ppl like to play with her and she likes to play with a premade team. Which is hard to find cuz like I say, not many ppl play with her.. It has gotten to the point where we stopped including her.. and well, today was the day where we told her our reasons...

I have no idea.. why does she sounds so defensive.. She doesn't really see that we have an issue with her that is on her... that didn't make sense.... We just want to play for the sake of playing, for the thrill of doing the best, for the laughter and etc.. I dunno....

Frankly, all I am now.. is missing playing with her, missing talking with her..

It might start when I am more interested in playing normal, in wanting to improve and custom and co-op have stopped being my place to practice. It's not that I can't improve there but it takes too long and frankly I don't have the patience for doing it.

She doesn't want to duo with me.. and when we actually go premade, we dun usually get good results and stuff happens.

So we drifted after that, there isn't much to talk about with someone who doesn't play the same match with u.. Isn't interested in hearing theory craft and is not patient enough to reply my qns.. basically isn't interested in playing teacher anymore..

And despite how I sound to Viva, I still miss her. I miss her presence... We might not be as close as real sisters but I feel like she is like an older sister.. someone that I look up to, someone that I will like to meet in real life and get to know..

Well, I guess I just missed playing with her. Just the two of us...But I gotta stop being selfish. I had my moments and memories playing with her. And like the first few weeks that I was introduced to the game and them.. It will just be like that. Just. Memories.

And I gotta stop being selfish in terms of refusing to let Viva tell her the real reason why we aren't playing with her. Just because I want to remain connected to her. Just cause I want to still be her friend.. I had caused both sides to remain stagnant.. and that isn't the way to go. We gotta settle this so both sides can move on.

So, I guess I will write this here. Since I will never get the chance to write it to her.. Or rather, I should never write it to her.

Thanks em, thank you for being my favorite playmate. Thank you for putting up with me when I'm unreasonable. Thank you for being there when I needed a listening ear. Thanks for the time you have spent teaching me. Thank you for picking up support role cause I main Ranged Ad. Thank you for spending the time and effort to point out my mistakes so I can improve. Thanks for the help you rendered when I ask. Thanks for following my crazy desires at times. Thank you for adapting to me so I can play the way I want to play. Thank you for changing certain things so I have an easier gameplay. Thanks for playing with me all that many hours.Thank you for the times where you will defend me.

You might have a series of unfortunate events and it has shaped you this way. But not everyone can take it and if you choose to remain firm in your beliefs and actions, I hope you can find people who will accept you for who you are. I have reached a point where I have gotten tired of dealing with the aftermath and that it does not exceed the fun part.So, I'm sorry that I'm leaving too. I apologise for coming in your life, making such a ruckus and leaving just like that. Lastly, I'm sorry that I can't adapt to you, I can't change my tolerance of certain matters for you and I am leaving in such a manner. Life is never easy or fair but if you continue to persevere, you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. You will find days where you can truly be happy.

I'm glad that you came into my life and left such an interesting mark. I will always miss your support because you were my only constant support player. You might be leaving now but I still wish you good luck in everything you do. I hope that next time we meet as opponents or allies, I can show you how much I had improved. Arigatou and Sayonara.

I needed to write that out.. Feeling much more relieved after typing out that message. She might not get to see it but I had figured out what I should be grateful for. And I typed out everything that I will want to tell her.

I had fallen in this area with my heart and I can't seem to untangle it. While finding a way to remain aloof to these matters, I shall continue traveling this route with my heart and prayers that it will remain in a working condition. I might have this weariness hanging around me but I will strive to see the lightness, humor and optimism in each action I take. I will transform each incident into experiences and aim to become a better person from the journey of this route.

And it's 2am.. I'm suppose to meet jm at the bus stop opp Lakeside at 8.30-9am tmr.. I'm.So.Dead.... .____.

2011-11-25T03:07:00.000+08:00

I'm forever behind my update lol. Maybe because I can't find the time to come here and type everything that had happen.. So let's see.. my 18th bday has came and gone and thx Miss Gwee, Cy, Clara, Joyce and Kayfun :D You gals have made it the most awesome bday that I have so far (:

It has been awhile since I got a party/surprise/ppl making themselves available for my bday. Usually it's the other way.. me planning for ppl to make it to others' bdays.. So thank you (: I forgotten how amazing it is to have ppl going their way to make a space in their busy weeks to appear and celebrate together.. For those waiting for me to cry.. well, it isn't that easy :D

Fun time with ur little activities though~ And thanks for the two pairs of shoes, (jq, cy, kf, joyce, clara, wt and sm)

Genting with friends was amazing.. it felt like weeks instead of days xD sadly that it wasn't that fun with it being off-peak and the queues are still long.. not crazily long but still long.. :/ Oh well.. thanks for the trip gals~ SPCA wasn't what i imagined but the kittens there are adorable (: Too bad they are so far.. so I gotta make it short trips D: The cats are awesome too :P thx Clara for bringing us there..

My online friends, I shan't unburden myself here.. besides the fact that things change so quicky in a few months...How do you help someone who doesn't find fault with herself or wants to be helped? And to the readers out there.. it isn't anyone you know..

one familiar picture before I leave one last qn..

Why? Hello there~ (=^.^=)

Qn of the day: How to untangle myself from something that I gotten so emotionally involved with? And I'm tired.... tired of putting so much emotions in the particular activity and get bruised at times..Tired of feeling like I'm the only one who cares so much.. Tired of wanting this to last and go smoothly.. (go where? I dun even know..) Tired of being the only one hurt from it.... Tired of being the only one who feels that she will lose out more then anyone else in it...

Juz, plain tired.

On the other hand, cy bday cele tmr (:

2011-10-21T08:29:00.002+08:00

Time check: 4 and a half hours before the next class.

Yes, you didn't read wrong. Apparently, I have mistaken my class to be this 'term'. Despite the big words: 9/12-3/2.. Now the teacher have an impressive impression of me *dripping with sarcasm* I did read, I juz dunno why I didn't process :/

Then again, I made plenty of mistakes this week alone. Thinking that my lesson was at 1 when all afternoon lessons started at 2..That abv stupid mistake.. And I couldn't concentrate on thurs class AT ALL.

Is this cuz I'm still in hol mood? I dun think so though :/ more like I have a certain blurness still hanging around me. Like I haven't fully awake.. Which is strange.. Then again it might be due to the fact that I'm living from day to day at the moment. Nothing to look forward to except gaming everyday after I finish my work.

I gotta wake up.. I dun wanna spend my sem 2 with such a rocky start.. Still got much to catch up on my gpa.

Now I got a flu that appear out of nowhere, a sorethroat that disappear juz like that.. and a general lack of sleep. :/

Well, my oct holidays had been eventful. Heck, my month has been eventful so far. I had, SPCA visit, genting with the gals, another internet fight(one that i wasn't part of but got dragged in), the starting of the school. I juz wanna pass this month and my bday in one piece :/ and relatively sane.

There's many things on the wishlist but no one is done or granted :/

My modules this sem.. I forsee only Idealaunchpad , IE2(interactive experience 2) and SDI (sound design smth) will give me probs. Since INN(Interactive narration smth) is liken to storytelling for games, my interest is strong there. and DDI(design for digital interactivity?) is miss airene, no prob following her lessons.

IE2 is playing with unity, the game engine for now, and SDI, we were intro two new prog, Reason and Protools and it's edward(teach for sem 1 flash) teaching.. :/

will update on the few incidents that happened next time (: till then~

2011-09-23T23:51:00.003+08:00

So.. short update for now.. Since I feel that I'm not updating often enough. And well, for the past few updates , it's kinda strange :/

Ok, so first things first. I'm missing you, yesh you know who are you, when was the last time we went out? One or two months? No, I'm not blaming you, I know you are busy. Not everyone is like me, so free.. but I'm kinda sad, cuz I was looking forward to catching up with u. I know, it's only one week and a few days diff but still..

Secondly.. my sem result was surprisingly pleasant, my gpa is 3 though my cumulative still kinda fails. Not surprisingly, my highest scored were Maya module and psychology one. Web design and programming come next and the last is aftereffects. Which isn't anything new, while I might like it, I dun get it .___.

I might fall into trouble next sem cuz there's no Maya.. on a sidenote looks like there's smth related to storytelling I think. I gotta brush up on Flash and I got a new module on sound design. I'm hoping I get my first three choices for IS.

So that's studies...

As for gaming, I'm steadily improving. Kinda stuck in improving further but I'm definitely expanding my choices. Is it strange that I feel so connected to ppl I met online? I met Senti and Flamez in tgx and meeting them, changed my attitude to them.. They are more.. real, in a sense. Pat has quitted LoL after a disappearing act he pulled before a clan tourney. Which was gratefully postponed. He, well we, both of us has stopped talking to each other too.. I mean, I feel kinda hurt, I really wonder.. is what he mentioned while we were training together all lies? Should I try to salvage what's left? Or leave in flying off in the wind cuz he didn't even bother telling me anything.

I do miss the long talks of nothing and everything with him. I missed the times where we juz accompany each other. Most of all, I thought I knew him. Knew how he was but apparently, that's only one side. Or is it me? Who does not preach what I teach? I stress on communication yet I didn't bother communicating with him after that incident. Should I chase? Should I let go? I struggled with this debate for a month alrdy and there's only so much time I can give it before it's gone. Really really gone.

On another hand, I regretted being the clan leader. I have no idea what state is the clan now. Completely no idea on how to revive/improve it. No fricking idea as to what to do.. As a clan ldr, I'm suppose to do a lot of things but there's no list for what to do.. and I have that moment of dislike when someone tells me what to do... :/

Haiz, gotta start bucking up..

I'm sorta dragged to go work for the next week.. Tue to Thurs with Mon as training day. At west mall.. come find me if u can (: or on a second thought.. no dun find me.

To end on a happier note.. look at the newest trailer for FFxiii-2, it's awesome as usual.. More Lightning pls (: Charice is awesome. When she played Sunshine in Glee, I was amazed by the voice that came from her petite figure. And to think this theme song came from her too (: It's poorly dubbed, unlike the first trailer where words actually fit.

*cue "I want a PS3 god damn soon" choir*

2011-08-25T01:08:00.002+08:00

Time for another post at the wee hours o.o Juz watched finish Soul Surfer, which isn't a too bad movie. Not too cliche and quite interesting. Falls under meaningful/life story genre. Hmm, makes me wanna watch surfing. Lol. Or try at least. Hmm, didn't really come by to give a whole thought typed down about the movie though.

Despite the fact that it's my holidays now, I'm free or busy if u look from my pov. Technically if you discount the time I spent gaming, then I'm free. Yes, I'm spending my days away by gaming. Why you may ask. 1) Some people are still having exams. 2) I'm bored of or hate going training alone. 3) I do have nothing else on my list besides library. 4) No, i dun wanna work. But volunteer activity is sounding kinda appealing now.

5) I wanna improve my skill. I know, I know, I shouldn't sink so much into the virtual world. But that's where things are more interesting. Skype is there for communicating, champions are there to explore, the game itself is there to learn and master and I learn smth new everyday.

Skype. It's a great tool. I actually made friends there. Senti who is like a little brother to me. Pat, a brother who is around the same age as me. Em, big sister.. this I dun doubt. Flamez, a troublesome middle brother. Jo, a calm and rational brother to my real and reckless one. Viva, an older brother who is someone I can talk to. Cs, a quiet brother who I can't discern if he is older or not.

So yea we are like a big family of misfits. Senti who is the youngest of us all. Flamez and my brother, the two hotheaded ones. Viva, the oldest brother who juz wants to teach. Cs, the quietest one whom you dunno he is there till he speaks up. Jo, the calm one who juz wants to keep everyone together. Pat, the emotional one and at times the troublesome one but is a great listener. Em, the older sister who everyone talks to but does runs if things get too much for her. And me? You ask? I dunno where I stand, probably the one who wants to be older and wants to take on more responsibility but fails to.

Yes, I got into a position of power. I'm the leader of our clan. Which actually leave me a lot of things to unwind and put properly. But I dunno where to start and when we did list out something, we can't do it straightaway.

Even so, our family is slowly fading and not everything is happy. Senti, doesn't want to get tied down so much and still retains some independence. Flamez is in danger of leaving our family cuz he refuses to be in the same clan and seek independence and Viva and Pat don't quite like him. Jo is taking time off to study. My bro who is slowly distancing by playing with other friends. Pat, who is still having exams and some fault that the others can't stand. Cs, who is still new and hardly making any presence. Viva, who is new and rather not get so entangled with the issues under the surface. Yes, I know, he doesn't have a need or reason to. I'm juz looking for someone and clearly, he's the wrong person. Em, who doesn't want to have a big argument, who rather not rock the boat, who runs when things is not to her liking.

And me? I dunno, maybe I'm too much into this family of ours. Maybe I'm wishing for too much. Haiz.

But yea, my plans for the game are kinda thrown into disarray and I will start sorting them out after this sun clan tourney. I'm kinda like a wanderer now I guess.

Oh yea and my com is acting up... so annoying.

So, yes, I'm busy. Maybe about the wrong stuff but I dun wanna let it pass by me. Not yet anyway. But do find me out since my parents are so DAMN concerned about me gaming. But it's the god damn holidays no? sigh..

October, I wish u come fast :3

2011-07-21T16:50:00.002+08:00

you know i dun post quiz results on my blog.. ever. But this is interesting...

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

And if u want to take the test too..http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

2011-07-12T17:54:00.003+08:00

Gah, why I'm back here you ask? Simple, cuz I want to write out the current issues I have now. Let's start with the dilemma I'm facing now yea?

In *checks clock* 20 mins,(it was 6pm when I started typing) my Muay Thai training is gonna start. Remember how much was I raving about the cca a month ago? Apparently, with the obstacle standing in between my waning interest for it and me, the scales are tipped so much towards the option of not going. And I find the real reason for not going so stupid yet try as I might, I'm dragging/ forcing myself to go to each week training.

The reason I dislike training? The arduous run before each training. Yea, I know =.= the reason is so stupid.. Best part? I joined this cca BECAUSE they run and I'm interested in the fighting technique (unlike Aikido, which puts me to sleep.)

I already skipped two coach trainings which I paid for. 10 trainings in total are 60+ dollars. So one is around 6.00+. And I skipped last week training at all, which means I should go down today, er now.

Haiz, it's strange but not joining the Fight Team put me off this cca more then ever =.= Nope, still not regretting. Maybe only regretting buying the equipment cuz I feel like quitting ._____.

Oh well, I think I will still go today. I brought everything alrdy and feel less like skipping once I type ^those paragraphs down. Though I will be going in later cuz I wanna finish this post first. *prays punishment for being late won't be too harsh*

Now, that's one issue that I'm worried about.

Second, (dun hate me for still thinking about this issue :X) Em. Yes, I know I sound so damn optimistic in that last last post. But apparently, since that week and two odd normals with a full team. Em is missing from LoL. Nope, she still plays alone at odd days BUT each time I invite, she's not going. I wonder if it's partially due to me. Cuz me and my bro, two weeks ago offered to play a game that she wants to play, with her. Which is Eden Eternal or Eternal Eden (dunno which E comes first). Anyways, she is forsaking LoL for EE. Which might make sense seeing that she plays LoL since Close beta. So she might grow tired of it.

But, I'm missing her. I'm missing playing with her, talking to her while in game, her lessons, her random remarks, her fury (not at me :P), the closeness we had and mostly? Her presence in my life.

Nowadays, she isn't even on Skype which makes talking to her hard. Because the place to find her is EE. Which she either ignores me, too busy to talk to me or juz misses my whisper to her. These few days, my only communication to her is either asking her questions about the game or juz a basic greeting in-game. Even telling her about LoL, just get a no ans.

Which leads me to question, is she giving up on LoL or she just refuses to play with us. Then it makes me question myself, should I push her to play with me when I offer? Should I force a lengthy talk with her? Should I instead of saying good morning, to her when we are on EE, should I juz be direct and say I missed her? Or the next time she is on Skype, I should start my conversation with that?

The only reason I'm playing EE is cuz, it's the only way I can communicate with her. Essentially, the last link I have to her. It's not like I can search for her friend, 'Claire' through LoL.. Pffft. I'm on a standstill regarding her. I long to have a talk with her but unfortunately, dunno her well enough to anticipate her reactions and go for a route with the most success. There, I admit, I dun really know her well. I dunno her enough to form a scenario with her personal response. All I have, is to base her response on what ppl usually response to. Which is risky. But I think, I gotta get this over and done with. Letting this silence, this NOTHING fester between us is bothering me to no end. It's not like letting it stay there will evoke some miracle to repair that hole between us.

Yes, I am sorely missing her. I'm missing the days that we had earlier, sorely too. But we can't rewind time. And I wished that I had some warning that those days won't last.. If not I would have cherished them even more.

Hmmm D: How? Pat isn't really doing much anymore. He's all set to give up Em cuz he feels that he have done enough. I'm not ready to give her up but she's slipping away from me. And I can't talk to Pat anymore about this matter cuz I think I he doesn't really wanna care about it anymore and there's no one else to talk to about this.. Jo? He doesn't even really play LoL these few days. And besides the two, my bro is the one left but he doesn't care. Not close to the rest so ... haiz.

I miss the days which once I am on the computer, a Skype convo is bound to be on, people will definitely be talking about LoL related stuff or their life. And NOT what we are having now, calling only when required, barely talking to each other at all.

And if all those that I type are so fantastical, not bound to happen anymore, someone please wake me up to the harsh and bitter truth so that I stop hoping for the past.

Pat is too nice to do it. My brother doesn't care. Jo MIA. Flamez,cube and veigar is in a different world. I think, I hope, I wish that if it boils down to that, that Em be the one to wake me up. Pat will do too. But it will take a lot for him to be that different.

Argh, I'm getting myself down and I dun feel like going training anymore..

So far, assignments are alright. I'm aiming to survive week by week. But the only reason this week is so slack it's cuz IE and DFX lessons are now changed to lessons to do assignment 2. And it's own time own target.. hence the slightly lesser things to hand in.

Buttttt, I still have to keep my own schedule if not I'm screwed by the time I have to hand in assignment two =.= damn it.

Screw school.Screw Life. I just want to return to my early LoL days.

Heck, I think I should juz return to the days that I fly solo. Less heartstrings tugged, less matters to worry about, all I need to think is to how to improve myself. That's all I have to worry about and not a combination of them.

And yes, I'm still ambitious. My current ambition for LoL is to become a renown Ashe player. Not necessarily the best but at least be known for it. Yea, I know, my dream is to live in the virtual world.

Anyway, besides the four letter word,LIFE.. .. I got another path open for me in terms of what to specialise in.. Welcome, Web Designer (:

Learning Dreamweaver in the latest VID lessons.. HTML language is hand-able compared to Flash.. Creating the design part of the web is so interesting too. It's so flexible, juz have to follow what your mind can imagine. Anyway, see my grades how it goes..

Btw, I'm so proud with my recent marks. Triple Bs( CT,CA1,Assignment1) for VID. B+ for Maya, C for my IE1 CT. yea, that's all I recieved.

But I'm so proud that I got B+ for Maya, I'm even better then some DA peeps. (HAH! take that!) As for the Triple Bs, I thought I scored better for CT but oh well.. :X AND YEA I PASSED MY FLASH THEORY!

Keep it up, myself (:

Maya recently is headache-ing cuz we are modeling a human =.= I so prefer non-living things :/

Oh yea, the story about Robin from One Piece which I wrote over my March hols.. is at here. If anyone wanna read it (: Lemme know how u think about it if u read it.

My drawing of Soi Fon's bankai is on hold. As well as the one shot of ZoRo story.. But I'm gonna go back to it..cuz I feel so damn guilty.

Sometimes, I wish that Life wasn't so complicated.

2011-06-28T12:09:00.010+08:00

Hmm, photos first yea? Pardon me for they are not in order.. Blogger gave me probs and I'm too lazy to fix them.. =.= So yea ._____. Most are raw images, no time for me to correct them..

One of the photos from our family day out. Taken by yours truly (: No, not easy to take it cuz I had little place to maneuver and the fishing road is so long o.o My dad is 1.8m or so btw. Lovely sky that day. It's been so long since we had a day out like that. And I cycled with my mum and bro. It's juz wonderful (: I'm glad we went out ^^

One of my Maya projects. We had to model a shoe. Yes, this is modeled from a real shoe.. Adidas becuz I support that brand :P I don't think the original colour is green. And this is one of the easier modeling that I've done o.o

This. Was. A. fricking. headache. to. do. It's modeled after the blueprint of a Ferrari 156 F1 (1985). Not exactly the same cuz I'd to improvise. Dun mind the markings, it juz looked so plain unmarked and I read a fanfic that involves a racing car once so... this happens. :P

Suzumebachi (: One of the three drawings that I drew over my longer holiday. I actually managed to pull myself to correct it. And since this is the first attempt in correcting a scanned picture. I'm happy with it :P Still, the actual picture looks better. Which leads me to wonder, my scanner or me?

My first time tying the hand wrap. Psssttt.... I still can't get it right (cues facepalm) Muay Thai sparring is exhilarating but I'm not ready to commit to the fight team yet. Hopefully, it's not the wrong decision..

One of my favourite photo of my brother. Taken at the day out too. Kinda off colour cause the sun keeps hiding behind the clouds on and off so it tends to wreak havoc on my manual settings. That is ECP in case you are wondering.. 17-20 of june 2011 felt like a dream that happened a long long time ago...

:] The three of them, while we are at the Marina Barrage. I always prefer natural photos to posed ones so here you go.. one of their backs. Instead of ones that they waited for me to take their photo. And I love them dearly even if they frustrate me at times... (in the case of my brother, a lot..)They were contemplating on the potential for illegal fishing at that area at that time if I remember clearly :P

Okayyyyy... So that's all the photos/images from that past few mths I had been missing... that you are gonna get out of me... Yea I know i cheated.. Three of them were from recent event. Oh well.. I dun care xD

2011-06-24T03:26:00.004+08:00

Ok, so I've been gone for a long time. To sum up very shortly of what had transpired since school reopened.

1)I have recently obtain muay thai as a cca. Whether it will stay is another matter..

2) My story writing is on a stand-still. Not of a lack of ideas but a lack of writing feel.

3) i'm actually enjoying all of my modules except for programming. Why Flash doesn't come to me easily? =.=

4) still drawing though it was on hold till recently again

5) Fell into a complicated trap by the game League Of Legends.

6)Made friends (with the courtesy of my bro) through the prev game

7) had an incident that happened with the prev mentioned friends

8)confused and moody about the prev matter

9) went back to netball. missed it.

10) spent my two weeks of hols gaming. which leaves me : /

11) Missed writing out my thoughts.

So please skip the post unless you happen to be one of the friends who stumbled upon this blog and you know me through LoL. As for my readers, I'm sorry this is the first matter but it's preying on my mind for days and I wanna get this outta of my system first.

So, a displeasure occurred among us the prev time we actually played together. Funny how it sprouted from the fact that we actually played AGAINST each other rather then the fact that we played WITH each other. Firstly, you guys had the power to ban the champs, so why complain about Pat's choice? You ban one of the champs which I'm better at, I've no comment. Banning tryn makes sense. But wtf?

You guys actually complain about Pat's choice after the whole matter? You also accuse us of dragging out the game when it was you guys fault. You all run each time we want to engage and sry but we are not idiots to run after you for a team clash. Ok, thanks to the dragging out, we gotta be forcibly surrendered. After the game, accusation starts to fly around.

Pat never wanted to lane against you but I couldn't handle you and he was the only viable choice. Then two or three days ago u three actually brought up the matter and accused him. I felt it was unreasonable for you to ask my bro to mind his own business. After all, he was also part of the game. Thanks for letting me see that part of you. No, my respect of you didn't drop that much but it was a harsh reminder that I do not know much of you at all. I don't know if the matter is resolved. It will probably haunt us (if there is an us in the future) next time but I dun wish to approach and work it out now. I'm juz too scared to rock the boat and face its consequences now.

I might be flippant about matters and act as if I'm fine. Heck, you might know from the games I play, that I dun hold grudges. But matters like this encroach on my mind. And if you all know how much I've thought about this matter, I think you won't be so dismissive of it. I really find that attack on Pat unfair and bad.

Second matter linked to this game is haiz. I know I'm not an exceptionally good player. Heck, I probably juz cross average or am average only. I know I'm only introduced to the game cuz sometimes you guys lack players. But it hurts to know that I'm not needed. I'm beginning to detest Maple cuz it pulls you guys to there. To a game other then this one. At first I thought, after the server check, everything will go back. Where you guys spend more time on LoL and not on Maple. I refuse to play Maple cuz I dun see the point of playing on another server. It really sucks to know that I'm only invited cuz u guys dun wanna go normal w/o a full team.

It is hurting to know that no one misses me despite the fact that I haven't been on Skype for two days. The fact that the closeness we had at the starting game is slowly dissipating. Vanishing into nothing. I really missed the days where we played together. Cuz nowadays, it doesn't have that special feeling anymore. And I really miss it.

Perhaps, you guys were too attentive to me when I first came in. Teaching me the ropes and playing a game whenever I want. Now you guys juz ignore me. Like I'm a painting on the wall which you see everyday. I never see the point of staying in that skype convo if all u guys are gonna talk about maple. It also sucks when my own brother can't even trust in my skills. Hello, I might still be counted new but I'm definitely still a gamer.

SOMEONE WHO PICKS UP SKILLS IN A GAME EASILY WHEN I'VE BEEN PLAYING IT FOR A MONTH OR TWO.

come on, have faith in me. =.= You might say I co-op too much. But I need the money and it isn't like I can normal and lose consecutively w/o feeling frustrated. You guys only go if there is a full team yet mapling takes up most of your time. It's been two whole days since I Skype but I doubt anyone even noticed I'm gone. Each time I logged on LoL and see you guys there. I'm still waiting. Waiting for someone to come and ask me what's wrong. To notice and do smth about my absence. Not to see you playing among yourselves. Even my own brother rather play with a group of strangers than me. I logged on Skype today for the first time in two days. and was faced with silence. I refused to join the call. But secretly harbor the hope that one of you will notice I log in and come to ask me. It's not like I'm Em, who doesn't talk. Did any of you noticed my voice was missing from the conversation?

Had the thought of "where's wy," cross any of your minds?

I refuse and am stubborn to be the one who relent. To be the one who cave into my urges to be part of smth. To hear your voices talking in Skype. To be the one who returns to be that pic hanging on the wall. If I have to bear loneliness as a result of not being in Skype. So be it. I'm not a toy which you can throw away after the novelty of it being new wears off. I rather walk away then get thrown away.

I might be making a mountain out of a molehill. I might be thinking too much. I might be taking this too serious. But this is my stand and I will stick with it. Even if I have to LoL alone. Even if I have to play the games myself. At first, you guys were so hyped that I was playing but now? You all respond to me yes but I'm not needed am I? I dunno where this road will lead but I will continue walking it for it's my path. One that I chosen and not one that was forged for me.

I'm so sorry that I got hooked on this game. I'm regretting ever meeting you guys. For hearing my bro besides me still Skyping pull on my heartstrings. I will stand strong and refuse to drop hints or wateva that sort to get ur attention. I WANT YOU ALL TO NOTICE ME W/O my interference. Juz to prove that I've a presence among the group. And not juz someone who is called upon to fill the slot which can be taken by anyone.

Sry for that two long paragraphs. I needed to type that out. Feeling a tad better though still confused. Feeling sleepy too. Guess i will continue blogging and posting my photos tmr or some sort. it's like 4am now. And I gotta wake at 7am later ._____.

To be continued....

28/6- cause it's related

Anyway, I had a funny way of ending my holiday. You know that last post where I was raging at my game's friends? I actually talked it out with one of them. Namely Pat.. Which probably doesn't make any sense to you cuz I didn't really say who is he in that last post. Not that I'm gonna start now.. Since the reason I keep a blog is to record my memories so that my future self can read it and go.. "Oh ya.. I remember that incident..." and take a trip down that memory lane. Anyway, like I say I talked it out with him. And it helped immensely (: I still have doubts over some of his words.. But looking on the bright side, he did help me lessen the heavy situation. I'm happy he said that I'm still carrying and that my Ashe is undervalued.. No, I'm not gonna read into it and drive myself crazy to discern if he said that cuz he meant that or cuz I needed to hear that. Think about it yes, drive myself crazy over that, no.

It's so strange that that one time I play so well that I amazed myself have to be queuing with him :P Yes, it's a potential of how I can play. Now all I gotta do is to make it so it become regular and not a one-time fluke. So, after talking out with him in Skype, about many matters ( THAT fight, my insecurities, the way the group treated me, Em) well.. I feel so much better. Thanks a lot. You really helped me.

Looking back at that few days which I flew solo, in a way it did help me. In ways that probably being under them, being with them, couldn't do. I learned how to judge when I could kill an opponent and get away with it, learnt the different ways people behaves, learn how to not expect people to do what I want, meet and made a new friend/teacher, how to enjoy myself and not care about my performances, get into skirmishes with my teammates and deal with it, learn how to judge a teammate's skill level within a few minutes into the game, learn how to cover a teammate's weakness. Basically, learn how to play WITHOUT them. Not that it's fantastic but I'm on the road of learning.

For some reason, playing with them, stresses me at times. Especially when they still can't trust me and blames me but refuses to say it out loud. Or when they aren't any better in the same game but doesn't fully believe that the fault also lies with them. I'm not sure if I will be playing with them any soon. ( The only reason I say this.. is cause Pat agreed to queue with me when he's online. At least I won't be so lonely (: )

Now, the next bone to gnaw on.. I'm v.sadded (not a word I know.) that the FIGHT actually caused a rift to happen between two of the most wonderful ppl I met since I played LoL. Em and Pat. According to my bro, they went real back even before he met them and they join his group of friends. And, while I always have this selfish tendency to be liked by the people I admired and to be one of their more impt friends, now that it happens, it's really upsetting.

According to Em, she said everything is fine/solved/okay (pick ur choice) between the two of them, her actions dun show them. No, I dunno if they still enter the same conversations,( how would I know if I dun enter any except when necessary?) I dunno if they still talk to each other in Maple (I dun even play that nowadays and wouldn't go back to Cass if possible.) Apparently, the two of them are old friends and good ones at that. I can tell, when I first entered LoL and Pat will not queue with us to queue with Em, when Pat asks Em for help with his hmwk, when we had conversation between the three of us and we talked a lot.

How can you expect me to believe your okay/fine/solved; if you are letting me invite him instead of you sending that invite when you can? If you aren't willing to wait 15 mins to queue with him? If you went for a second round w/o him so quickly that I didn't have time to protest and you knew that he wasn't busy at all? When I invited you back in for a third round together with him and you said you are gonna maple instead? With all these signs staring at me, how can you expect me to take what you said in face value?

One bad thing about the internet that I hate and love at the same time, the inability to hear the voice, to have some other hints to work from other than words that ppl typed. I've not a single idea if you are feeling the same as before to me when you converse with me. Or if you are angry, or tired or juz dun wanna kick a fuss. I do want to talk to you, to have a heart talk but unlike Pat, which I had an opening to do so, I actually let off my opening with you to converse with him. To reclaim, to find that appropriate time is not easy. Which is made harder by the time you spent in Maple. And I figure that the next chance for one, will probably be during the weekends, where I game the whole day to be able to catch you at the rarer times that you will be online in LoL and I'm able to use the computer far longer then weekdays. I'm thankful that you asked me for a game, even if it's co-op. Although it seemed a rift grew between us while I wasn't noticing too... I dunno how to bridge it even though I have a slight idea how to bridge urs and Pat's. I just hope, when I start laying down the foundations, it wouldn't push either of you further away from me. I hope I wouldn't be viewed as someone who doesn't mind her own business .________.

As for Pat's side, I figure that despite you being angry with her. It's human nature. All of us tend to look at the dirt, the flaws of someone that you are angry with. Instead of the pros that she/he have, all of us will look at the bad side of someone before actually thinking yea, I think she/he should be forgiven becuz she/he did these earlier. And yes Pat, I think your trust in her got tampered, got dented and you are hurt by her actions. But I don't think you should let both ur friendship remain like that.

Both of you talk it out yes. But that was a few days after the incident. Which makes u both wary about saying the wrong things which leads to the both of you of not saying what you truly want with that true intensity. I did, go through it before at both sides I believe. As the one getting accused and hurt and the other party, which has unintentionally accused.

Em, I might not show it but I like you a lot. Even more then the other players I've seen since playing LoL. Because 1) you are a gal. ( not that I know for a certain but I choose to believe you) 2) You are awesome (in any champs that you play, you owned. 'Nuff said. ) 3) You are fun (: (always joking and is willing to teach me) Yes, you are like an older sister to me. :D Albeit one whom I'd never met. But I wouldn't mind meeting (: Then again, I'm going too far in my thinking.

First, I gotta jump over this rift to be at the same land as you first no? :] Wait for me, cuz I will do it. I refuse to let this friendship fade to smth which barely resembles our conversations when we first met (: I refuse to lose your presence in my gaming life, which is happening slowly.. So, wait while I prepare my things/ammunition before attempting the jump~ And yes, cuz ur company is so worth it.

Hopefully, after I go with it with the only way I know how, we will be alright. That there won't be an uncomfortable silence when both of us play together. And while, preparing, I will still be constantly improving, so that one day, I will get to stand besides/near you with pride (: Which is in the future cuz ur matter with Pat have to be solved too.

Haha, I'm beginning to sound like Soi in an awkward r/s that she have with Yoru and she was the cause of it. But unlike Soi in the YoruSoi stories, I don't actually have any romantic tendencies to Em :P

Anyway, I will continue to train with Pat. So hopefully, this two prong attack, I will be able to push you two to talk honestly and plainly. W/o hiding behind any excuse.. And hopefully, it will go according to plan, or any improvised steps..

2011-04-02T00:59:00.005+08:00

So... Today...*checks clock* I mean yesterday... April 1st.(yes, April fool's day) was my first autograph session. Why first? Partly, because it's the artiste fault... and partly it's due to me. Haha, I don't know why.. but the moment I started chasing her, she was on a four years break from releasing a new album. (I've rotten luck... D:)

So, ytd was the first day I went to an autograph session. It was at IMM's garden plaza, 7pm. And yes, if you haven't guess or know it yet. The artiste is Stefanie Sun ^^

I'm so glad and grateful that for my first session, I managed to win 1 of the 10 priority passes given out by the FC. Because if I was queueing outside, I would prob

ably not have as much fun as today...

Not trying to offend anything/anyone but the ppl queueing outside scared me... I mean, when the personnel made more space to let them move in front, they juz scream and ran as soon as the personnel signal ok O.o They stood longer, have lesser personal space, are further from the stage than us. Really, I'm grateful. (I think I should join the FC O.o Since they WILL always have priority queue (: But I will consider first..)

Ok... So let's see... I reach around 3pm.. But met up with the FC ppl at 3.30.. Went in and sat down around 4? Took some photos then played psp till 5ish.. switched to drawing.. (For my portfolio (Talk more later)) Then switched between psp and standing up for false alarms .____. By false alarms, I meant the crowd which scream each time someone appears by the stairwell ._.

Haha, the atmosphere when she appears, was so awesome :) I mean, everyone was screaming and singing along with her (yesh, including me)

Well, as part of the FC, I was one of the ppl who got their album signed while she's still not that tired (: Sadly, since she said she will sign ALL the albums... A photo can't be taken with her while on stage D: Neither can I shake hands..

However, it still so damn awesome to get onto the stage and wait eagerly for your album to get signed by her. She's also so sweet (: She looked up to each fan and smiles. To let you imagine better, I will describe the picture as good as possible :D

Imagine, a long table and chair on a stage. A queue of ppl from the floor to the stage.. (with me so far? ) then, your favourite idol behind the table, signing albums. There is a lady who collects the albums beforehand and passes to a guy who passes it to stef(in my case). Then while there were two ppl in front of you waiting for their alb

ums to get signed, all three of you were at the table.. (it's a long table remember?) She signs the album while looking up periodically. Nah, I dunno if she does it to every fan but...

She looked up at me and said hi (: then smiles.. And when it was my turn to collect the album, she smiled again... I'm feeling so warm juz by recollecting that memory. haha, I know it's so fangirl(ish) for me to say it but it's juz so cool and great to see her personally! Haha, the main highlight of the autograph session i guess.

The bad thing about going up first is that there

were so many ppl to get through till we could see her leave o.o

So time was divided btwn getting photos of her signing and sitting down to rest. Sadly, I didn't managed to win any goodies from the DJ. It's no easy to get the photos.. there was a security guard blocking *scowls*

A telephoto lens + night = low shutter speed..= some blurred photos D:

All in all, I wouldn't mind going to another autograph session. Even if I might need to *shudder* squeeze with the other ppl. If only Avril/ Taylor Swift will come to sg to sign their albums... (I only got these other two albums)

Yanzi's autograph session was an awesome start to a whole new area (: ( poor her, I t

hink her hand is throbbing from all the albums she signed.. Some ppl brought like 10+ albums to sign O.o And there were so many ppl! She took about 1 and half hr to sign all! )

For my appealing progress.... I'm currently in the

midst of drawing my third fanart. Yes, you didn't read wrongly.. The only good thing that came about from this appealing thingy.. is that I have a reason to finish my Yoruichi drawing. Not that I won't finish.. but I was dragging my feet to complete it. Lol.

For some reason, I can't draw eyes (blah) So my Yoru picture is not looking exactly like the one I referenced from. But still, it's my first completed nice sized fanart in about 5 years? The last time I drew a completed one was when I was in pri sch O.o I drew small pictures of Skip Beat! ones during the holiday workshop but that was small ones.

Before I prattle on, DO know that I'd had not an inkling what should I present for my portfolio. So it's more of a (what do I feel and want to draw.) I did try to spread my choices.. But with the limited time I have and limited skills + concentration... I only have two and a half drawings to date.

A Yoruichi drawing. The reference is here. Not that small but I'm too lazy to find the bigger one.
A Suzumebachi drawing. The reference is here. No, Soi Fon's face isn't drawn in. It's too much for a short drawing.
A Natsu drawing (: I purposely chose one that her eyes can't be seen. Picture at the right....

Anyway, I intend to mix these few new drawings with my other drawings that I'd drawn. Like still life, workshops, competition, buildings and etc.. So I figure that the portfolio isn't too impt.

The problem is the letter. I had ask sz for help and should pass it to her by the end of today.. But I dunno what to include.. I mean, I dunno the reasons that are strong enough to convince the director to swap me to Digital Animation. D: Guess, I gotta think more for that..

As for the characters, Soi Fon, Yoruichi and Suzumebachi belongs to Bleach. Natsu there, belongs to Skip Beat!

Er, I will post the drawings once I scan them in (: Look forward to them :P

Now a photo to end my post (:

Yes, I took the photo :D and pardon the flaws, this is fresh from the oven and it's hard to take a nice un-blur photo with 1/50 and a moving around artiste :P

2011-03-25T22:03:00.002+08:00

Hmmm....? Ranting up ahead.. skip if u wanna avoid self-pity bout, random ranting, some abbreviated swearwords.. eh.. practically a whole chunk of words. Because that's what this post will be about..

Today is the receiving of the exam results. I knew the result of my specialisation ytd. Yes, i fricking went to IM. Despite wishing like hell... then again, if wishes do come true, everything will drop in value.. Ok, IM.. i wasn't cool about it but i can survive with it.

So i chose not to see my results till i got home today.. at around 8...

Guess what? I'm still wishing that I didn't open that piece of letter.

My results improved from my crappy sem 1.. But it was a snail improvement. I improve 0.2 gpa only =.= Best part? I got D+ for Ani principles for no particular reason. I didn't skip hmwk, teacher didn't drop a hint at all about my performance, i didn't fail my test... Heck, he even praised my work once.. SO why the fck?

Best part no.2 Failed my jap 102... but my payment for jap 103 was approved.. so am i still taking jap? =.=

Haiz.. Am i good in smth anyway? I fail or are average in most things that i do. So it shouldn't be surprising that my grades turn out this way?

I did, I really try harder this sem. but the results dun show it.. seriously? Let me wallow today... i will start sorting out my academic life tmr. I do hate myself sometimes.... And this is one of those times. Damn me..

2011-03-25T03:17:00.000+08:00

I'm afraid and lost....

2011-03-21T20:41:00.004+08:00

Ok... I finally feel like updating.. To rant about my life in particular . So long post ahead.. As I try to fulfill my to-do list too.

So firstly, let's start ranting yea?

Hmm... Where to start?

Well, I went to training today and finished it feeling like crap. Yes, the most obvious thing is becuz i dun have stamina... :X But nah, it shouldn't be my excuse.. I haven't been playing well these few trainings, even if I didn't go for trainings for a long time.

In matches, I get lost easily, not knowing what to do. Or when I decide what to do, I'm too late... Usually, I have a plan or at least a course of action to do when I defend but nowadays, I rarely do.. Blah...I dislike my play nowadays and have no idea what to do to improve..

I actually wanted to give up halfway today...

Other then matches, training was kinda tiring and enjoyable. It's been too long since I suffered together with ppl. (I'm a sadist?) We ran up staircases, did pair ball work and square ball! (The horror! :X)

That's for my netball part of life... (well, I could have ranted more but I'm feeling much better after a long bath and a 'talk'. thanks (: )

As for my life, it's mainly filled with days on the computer/laptop. It's made up

of last-minute plans and

whims. Wanna take a look at my to-do list? In no particular order..

Write finish 'Leaving isn't as easy as it seems'
Shade finish Yoru
Go down and get a pair of army boots
Finish putting together the Gunz wallpaper
then colour finish.
Draw Natsu
Ink Natsu
Shade Natsu
Finish colouring Manga Page
Learn Jap
Finish Felix's past
Plan for 'Abscond'
Start writing it
Plan and write One Piece with Bleach crossover

Well, before you start to ask... lemme explain ok?

1) and 14) is part of my foray to the realm of fanfic. Having to read for so long... Ideas invariably started to pop up... 1) is an ongoing project.. It's my first fanfic and it can be viewed here.

I'm not too sure if people who don't read One Piece can follow it. And I'm too lazy to see if you can. Although, I gotta say that it's a story adaptation of the anime. So the plot, actions and words bold in black do not belong to me. But the thoughts, and reasons behind the actions/words do belong to me :P

It's not too bad, the response I mean. To date, i have 620+ views and some are repeated, so at least ppl are following my story. I got a nice reviewer who reviews every update. I'm wrapping it up soon though, seeing as i'm more exited about writing 14)

Here is 1)'s summary btw:

Robin is used to being alone, to being unwanted and despised. So she cannot understand why does this particular crew does not want to let her go despite her trying her best to make them let her go. No, she can't fathom the reason that this particular crew wanted to hold on to her.

After all, the tactics she used on this particular crew (to let her go) was more effort then she usually put into. Usually, when she wanted to leave, the pirates would let her go (Cursing or hating her). However, this time round, when she made up her mind to leave, a string that is desperately protected by the crew, continues to tie them together... PS :( spoilers for water 7/ CP9 arc) Also, I've no idea if the anime and the manga is the same. But I based this on the anime.

I copied that from my profile. It's the longer summary compared to the one affixed to my story.

Since I couldn't possibly put the whole chunk in (:

14) is an idea that stems from the wanting to write about Yoru and Soi Fon together. But I wasn't ready to let One Piece go yet, so I thought, why not merge the two? I think there are stories out there with this idea but I'm eager to present mine. Oh yes, three of my favourite characters are gonna interact with each other. So far, I have...

Robin in squad 2, Zoro in squad 11 (naturally), Sanji in squad 8, Chopper in squad 4, Luffy in either squad 1,6 or 13, Brook in squad 7.. Franky and Usopp maybe in squad 12.. Not too sure though. Nami is the only one without a squad... Seeing that I am undecided if she should be in Squad 2 or not..

I'm further developing Robin's story as an afterthought.. So I was thinking of writing a collection of one-shots (One chapter story) for each character and their graduation day.. Then go on and write Robin's story separately.

If you are asking why Robin? I'm answering becuz she's my fav character. If you are asking why is she my fav? Go and see my fanfic profile, I writte

n my fav character, pairings and the reasons on it (:

I'm also thinking of writing Natsu story with the theme manipulation ( she is one! Manipulator i mean.)

Some pics from the flower show (srsly out of date I know. ) Not all but I'm too lazy to choose and post all...

Sheesh, actually had four but since blogger ate two.. I'm gonna leave you with one. Yes, no sense but deal with it xD

This is one of my fav pics (:

I'll post my sch final assignments on another day... So yea, till next update?

2011-02-22T12:23:00.002+08:00

*hides behind a book* Sorry for not updating :X I had been too lazy and busy to do it..

this time.. the list of things i'm gonna update.. I WILL DO IT (ya right :X)

Haha, see first.. :P

the list:

my assignments and thoughts on it and some pics too!

my holiday plans

and random stuff.. LOL

flower show.. (it was interesting.. I took quite some photos too :D

until then, ciao!

2011-01-27T22:10:00.002+08:00

Going to two of the B Div west zone matches at Nanyang.. it makes me terribly sad... it makes me ache for the days we played as a team... it makes me miss the days where we had an actual match together.. It makes me pine for the past... the past which memories are fading, leaving only hazy ones..

Above all, it makes me miss the days where I played with familiar people, the days where I'll be the one on court and not the ones shouting outside of it, I even miss the adrenaline, stress and fun that a court match bring.. Playing with the club, juz doesn't feel the same D: Likewise if I go and join Ngee Ann's netball, it doesn't even feel remotely the same... with all the different team mates and coach.

I also miss the times where Anni and Songzhen will be screaming at us, each of us will shout encouragement (ok, maybe that's me only), the joy when we got into second round, our shared hopes and aspirations... I particularly miss the tension from the two highlight matches of our last west zone. Tanglin and River Valley... I admit I have a hate and like relationship with that tension....

I yearn for the condition that my reflexes, thinking, skill level and passes during then..

Lovely game that Ycs played against Nanyang :) Too bad for the loss... I would like our team to play against theirs with both teams playing at our best.. but it's impossible.. and that's the saddest thing that I'd glean from that match.. That's no way that my team can get together and play like we did before...

I apologize for the moody tone here.. but it was on my mind since I came back from Wsp V BP's match.. That and having sad Bleach/Fairy Tail soundtracks to fuel my sadness...

It hurts so badly to understand a truth that I chose to never acknowledged...

I'm starting to float away.. someone hold on to me please...

2011-01-14T10:23:00.002+08:00

short update cuz someone requested it :D

Well, ever since school started. It had been a rush for homework. Since, the 'holiday' week had ended. I was leftover with one homework.. And that took up most of my time.. till last wed.. and now I'm rushing for many homework again =.='' Let's look at my workload ok?

PDW portfolio.. That is a one perspective drawing of a room.. Detailed and shadows are needed.... This is like 5% done... and it's due on monday... T^T
Study for Jap. Since my written test is on next next week and next next next week is my speaking one. This is also due on monday, since my lesson is then AND I gotta ask my teacher about the sentence structures.. I'm still unclear on it.
3DD portfolio.. An object done in 3D in Photoshop. This is 99% done, I left with the finishing touches. Due on monday.. Dang, gotta print it out soon.
3DD assignment 1, makeover packaging. We gotta choose a product and improve the packaging. It gotta be different from the product chosen. Different in every way except for the logo. This is technically not started yet.. Since all I did was to vector the logo, get the layout of the new packaging and try it out. I'm left with practically everything.. Designing of the layout, a prototype of the actual size and comparisons of the new packaging to the old one. Due on upcoming wed.
DAV final assignment. A group proj on a short film. I'm not too worried about this since it is a group proj. This is due in 3 weeks time. I believe this can be done.. though my time is taken up.. =.=
PDW final assignment. This is a pair proj. An A1 picture of a city in perspective along with 3 figures... Not as easy as it sounds.. since it's a fricking city.. so more buildings... (faints) This is due in two weeks(?) and my partner is one that I didn't have a choice in... haiz.. At least, it isn't the worst case scenario...
ANI portfolio.. basically, a written research.. I mean typed .___. this is also a pair one.. and i'm partner-less... again =.= sheesh.. due in three(?) weeks time, I think.
3DD final assignment aka assignment 2. This haven't been given but I have to start early.. since I seen the assignment brief and it isn't easy.. It's to draw and do out a clay model for a mascot in ICT.. And I currently have no ideas T^T The proj brief is the upcoming wed.. so I suppose I can hope that it is not this .____. We will be given two(?) weeks only, I think.

So basically, I'm screwed.. =.=

Tata...~

2011-01-01T15:06:00.005+08:00

Hmmm? I suppose I'm here cuz it's the norm to be here at 1/1 of a new year? More specifically 2011. Lols. I had wondered for quite some time on how to start this post for the new year and came out with nothing. So I will be typing it without thinking much about it. So I suppose the length of this post will be quite long. Since I wanna write down how 2010 was and my new year resolution of course xD lemme say first..

Happy NEW year (: !!!

Without further ado, let's start :P

Ps:( I'm gonna go to my past posts for help.. so it's not like I remember everything :O )

2010.. this is how mine pass by....

-Releasing of O lvl results...

What can I say about this? It's been something that I thought it will never arrive. Something that when I was young, I thought that the road to it was 100,200 years away. Something which was not to arrive so soon. Something which is never to be realised. How foolish I was to think that way (:

For one thing, the results and subjects that I took, was something that my younger self would never visualize taking it. I had never wanted to take pure sciences or additional maths.

In fact, I never wanted to get into Yuan Ching or netball. True, I might have loved sports when I'm younger but I never thought that I would have joined a cca and stick with it for so long. Let alone, fell in love with it ^^

I suppose the results marked another milestone in my life and made me ache for the past milestones.

It was also, the beginning of a very very long holiday.

-First day of work.

Well, this is another idea that is foreign to me. I never expected to work till i'm like 20 ? Haha, a child's perception of some matters are strange xD My work, while different, is same in some areas. I always wondered what happens if I actually got accepted for other kind of work. Would I've turn out differently? Nevertheless, I'm grateful for the experience to be the one working. Since it gave me a new experience and new view to everything surrounding me. It made me be more appreciative of the person behind the counter, the person serving, the person who went through many hours to produce something, etc..

Overall, the experience of work is like many other things. Bitter in the middle and sweet in the end. (:

-Getting my laptop( orange)

Yes, my apple laptop is called orange xD Getting a laptop is so different. Now it's like my first choice when I wanna go online. My windows desktop is staying there and gaining dust ._. Having my own laptop also meant that I can access it at any time. Even after 12am which my parents usually dun let me touch the computer :O

-Attending poly: mma.

I can safely say that reality ruins a child's dream. I always had the mistaken notion that poly was more slack, much more easier and basically, it pwns jc. Well, I'm not so sure about the last one. Though, a poly life is so different from what I expected.

I had, and is still having, problems with my course but I'm learning. I'm learning how to cope with my course. I dunno wat to expect in the future. I dunno where is my road. But I know this. I have to make short-term goals.. I can never stop making them. I can never give up. I have to exhaust all the ways before throwing in the towel. I have to stop regretting. Finally, I have to find the motivation/self-discipline. *gives a wry smile*

-Cosplay

Well, I met some of them last year. And decided to start on mine. I shan't put a deadline on myself. I shall struggle and hopefully accomplish it ^^ Riza hawkeye!

-Myself

I grew up. Really, I did. I grew up, quite a lot? It feels so.. anyway. So many things happened in a year. Friendships grew apart. Feelings and suspicions were harbored and secreted away. I grew near to some people. I did not allow myself to form some. I chose to let go some while some flew out of my grasp even though I tried so hard to hold on to them. My eyes were opened to many things that I originally did not see. I learnt many hard lessons. I gained many wonderful memories. I tried many new things. I failed and succeeded in others. I suppose I can proudly say, I'm beginning to learn myself. Yes, as strangely as that sounds. I hate and love some of my traits. I changed some,stubbornly kept some,lost some and can't get rid of some.I'm also interested to see the changes that another year will bring ^^

-Netball

I left this for the last becuz this year.. for this category/section, many changes occurred. Sigh.. where to begin? I suppose I can begin at the disappearance for I lost track of how many months of training. It was bad enough that I could not attend due to O levels but I also abandoned it when O levels were finished.. Seriously, what was i doing? I knew in this area, I was answering to no one else but me. (Knew. Since it was before joining the club) But how could I shirk the duty and responsibility, I can't remember the reason.

As if it wasn't bad enough, I still went on and selfishly signed up for the first club carnival.. Ah,I shan't rack up that experience. It will never be forgotten but I dun feel like explaining it any further in here.

I suppose I learnt much this year too. Less regarding concept and more regarding people and myself. Like how can I cope when my reactions are not that fast. Using more of thinking wise rather then running more I suppose. It does have it's good uses and bad ... Like when I abuse it too much..

I always get setback-ed when I did not attend training for a period of time and it sucks when I managed to get back to my skill level then the period of time comes back and my skill level drops again..

Heck, I haven't even reached my former level.. This sucks =.=

My team,Chase, played finish the last match for the PwC year end league ytd. Thanks to all my teammates for your hard work, tolerance and patience (: Big thanks to the captains, Elisha and Yiwei (:

I suppose, I hope that a new year would bring better performance from me, more fun when playing, more opponents, more chance to play, more communication between me and my defender or wateva position I'll be playing, lesser upsets, lesser losses and basically, the chance to keep playing this sport :P

New year resolutions time~

First, a review :D *goes off to search for past resolutions*

take better care of my gum..lols(my gum seems to be sunken or smth..) I dun think so .. I'm still kinda not caring for it. Not fulfilled
hit level 100 for maple character(long way to go..)I'm like, level 76.. LOL. Not fulfilled
Enjoy my course no matter wat i choose. Enjoy? No.. but i'm trying to find the ways to enjoy it. Half- fulfilled
roughly know wat do i want to do(rather lost now) Set short term goals, have a rough plan for the rest of the semester. Year 2 I'll make plans once the result is known (: Fulfilled
improve my skills of gunz ^^ I forgot what I had initially, but I master rs about 70%, hs about 80%, am comfortable with one pistol and one shotgun. So yes, Fulfilled.
learn something new (besides the things that i have to learn) Yep.. Definitely, besides the hol workshop, i'm learning how to be a better author and learning how to colour digitally (: Thus, Fulfilled.
keep in contact with secondary sch frens ^^ Some friends I did keep contact so.. Half-Fulfilled (:
make new friends ^^ lols Yea, I did make some I guess...Not as close as I would've liked.. but it's alright (: Half-Fulfilled.
make my blog more active(?) lols I did try T^T Not Fulfilled :(
finish things that i start I definitely threw aside more half-done work then ever. Not Fulfilled :(

Well, the list ain't that bad... 4/10 not fulfilled. 3/10 half-fulfilled and 3/10 fulfilled. I will work harder (: Here are the new ones...

Improve my gunz skills (: I wanna learn to do a proper bf and hopefully master rs.
Get into digital animation route. Try all means
Cosplay as Riza Hawkeye before 2012 !
Exceed/reach my previous skill level in Netball and be better .
Don't lose myself, only improve.
Keep in touch with ycs netballers '09
Finish some of my stories. I currently have 4 of them not completed. (felix's past, Robin's, cindyrella and makino.)
Improve my human anatomy ._.
get and play FFXIII
Improve my drawing and self-confidence in it.
Try to temper my procrastination.
Sleep earlier when I can't do anymore work.

Maybe I should add in don't fall down before new year xD Since i fell two days ago, tripped over kaiwei's legs ._. It's hurting me now.. skinned wounds still hurt T^T And it's been months since I get any flesh wounds ._.

Woah.. LENGTHY post indeed. Take your time and read.. since it'll be some time before the next update (:

2010-12-28T22:12:00.003+08:00

I feel like I'm trapped in a dream-like state. A state where I dun feel things directly.. Where I don't want to do anything except sleep. Maybe it's due to the lack of sleep these few days.. No, it's not that I can't sleep. It's more like I'm taking longer to finish my homework so I sacrifice sleep for it. Ironic thing? I'm the one causing the delay.... by procrastinating...

I dun feel like doing much when I'm on the laptop. See amvs? Nah. Trawl through deviantart? Nah. Read Fanfics? Nah. Do homework? HELL NO.

Seriously, wat the hell am I doing?

Heck, I think I might be showing my weariness unconsciously since someone recently asked if I was ok or not O.o

Sheesh, gotta get myself out of this rut. Since my lecturers dun care if I'm going through some mentality problems now.. they probably juz care if I had done my homework or not =.=

Note to self: Seriously, it's another 5 days before school reopens.. And HELL will I turn up to school w/o all of my homework done.. since I made the effort to do it this holidays...

F***.. whatever screw the lecturers/council/ whoever in charge to ruin our measly two weeks holidays which is probably the only decent break before the mad rush to the final assignment.

Whatever made me chose this path? I'm heck not enjoying myself at all..

2010-12-21T14:01:00.006+08:00

Ok... Now for my long and overdue posts... So warning xD Long and emotional(?) post ahead.

Seniors bbq

The thing that stood out the most in my mind got to be the climbing over the fence xD Sorry that we have to climb one.. but it's fun no? Haha... I'm not so sure if I climbed one before ...so it's a nice experience (: Ok... so technically we climbed over two fences for that night .__. But it was fun ^^ Especially with the company :P and we reached there safely :O So it's fine...

I gotta say I'm disappointed. Yes, we might be two different schools. Yes, it might be normal to not mix with each other. Yes, it is never your way to mingle with them. BUT isn't it time to put all the differences aside? Not one of you actually make an effort to mingle with the others. All of you juz rather hide in the chalet =.= Then you all accuse me when I go out -.- I'm seriously pissed off with this attitude of yours. Maybe it's juz play to you and maybe it's juz me who wants to avoid a scene. But now, i'm telling you here. The attitude of accusing me when I go out to mingle, to be with them, seriously suck. No, seriously I'm sick of it. I'm sick of being the only one bothered to go out. Maybe if Clara was here, it's a different matter. Maybe, you did something only that I didn't see. Maybe I'm being too hard here. Maybe, those who went earlier did do something and i'm unfairly lumping you together with the rest. Maybe the intention of going there is juz to meet our teammates. But this is my opinion. So dun like? Dun read. No, i'm not talking about one person only...

Haiz... on to more cheerier topic k?

Choice of cosplay

Riza Hawkeye or Lieutenant Hawkeye from Fullmetal Alchemist :D

Yes! This particular and rarely seen outfit xD

Well...*shakes head* I haven't gather anything.. Except for a now-lost-top =.=

I'm doing research for it for ytd though.. Like how does the guns she have look like, as many angle of the harness she's wearing, her headphone , her boots, her pants, the actual colour of the top.. I mean here is black but the next episode it's brown =.=

Going down to the army market tmr as suggested by Bentoh. To rackey :P Will be going after a trip to the Central library (Loves :P)

I chose her becuz Lightning seems too complicated for a beginner, Natsu seems to be the wrong character for me (personality wise) (I mean me? Seducing? O.o) I would like to try them out after trying out Riza though.

Riza is fine enough :D Since she's silently caring and loving.. Loyal..Proper(?).. And now I juz need to find her dog.. LOL

There's no sort-of-deadline. It's more of a gather-and-see-how-then-thing. Hopefully, it will be before AFA next year xD My mum is helping me \o/ Thanks :D

I found out that I'm very suited for Hawkeye. I mean she's 168cm and I'm like... Around there :D (No, I haven't go and measure if I had grown or not xD)

I'm sorry..I thought that it wouldn't happen again but it did. I did promise myself that history won't happen again. That it will never interfere again. But, it seems my promise is broken today. A small victory it was.. getting out of it. But I'm too late.. And I lost the mental war against myself.. After getting out of it, I did not do as well either.. Heck, it was a wrong mistake for being so out of trainings in the first place. But sorry can't change anything.. We lost our chance and ..yes, I'm angry too but what's gone is gone and the only thing we can do now is to learn from it. Not to beat ourselves over it. Still....

If a sorry is all it takes to mend things, there wouldn't be such a word..

I made a schedule.. and is hopefully sticking with it.. wish me luck xD

2010-12-06T18:04:00.002+08:00

Quick update while i let myself delay going to jap class till the current song is played finish.. ><

I'm rushing for assignments these few days hence the lack of updates DESPITE the numerous things i own ....

sorry D:

Exam week is next week and currently on hand theres like five assignments =.= three due this week.... =.=

haiz...

I'm beginning to think is it worth walking a path where I can't do the things i want....

ok, cya :D

2010-11-29T22:56:00.002+08:00

Sat match against river was,of a lack of a better word, interesting…

I actually played all diff positions( if not going on the court can be counted as a position .____.)

first quarter-outside (8 ppl we had.. so one gets to stay outside) well, i knew that it will happen when i sign up for the game.. there's no way that i could play all matches, all quarters..yet, like all the other times when i had to sit outside… i hate it.. i really do.. i might bitch and complain that i dun like to play certain positions.. but any, ANY, position beats none at all.. i know, that this matches are suppose to be learning experience to those in the secondary school, those who are still playing but i can't help but resent.. resent that i'm outside… *not that i have a choice* not that i blame sz for the line-up.. not that i blame anyone.. argh, i'm juz complaining ._______. ignore me..

second quarter- wing defense (kf, ganchiong spider is left outside… sry :( ) hmmm… it's been some time since i played WD so i screwed up the first few mins.. trying to get familiar… Well, there were some misses that i could've gotten but well, i got praised while playing WD so ^^ no.. i'm not satisfied… esp.. with the first few mins.. i took too long to get used.. Sz likes me when i play WD though :/ (i can't decide if that's a good thing) Sorry WA… D: u are small and i'm too free with my movement.. so i keep knocking u down T.T sorry! not on purpose..

third quarter-centre (still kf T.T) IT HAS BEEN TOO FRICKING LONG SINCE I PLAYED CENTRE SERIOUSLY….. i think the last time was sec 2 =.="' oh, i definitely understand the logic and sense in putting me as centre.. i'm a defending centre.. (as i found out when i play half-court..) so i focus more on defense.. i think, for once.. i prefer WD.. well.. the C that i'm playing, well the job is like WD except that i gotta do centrepass and help to feed in too. So, i prefer WD.. C's space was too big for my liking.. Although, I exhaust quite some pathetic stamina while playing WD… C efficiently killed me ._. C has no rest at all… centrepass (urs or enemy) C still has to go.. def/atk.. C still has to go..Jiemin, i srsly 佩服 you :D yes, poor opponent centre.. she got abused by me too =.="' my movements are too big :O so i suppose, given their low expectations of my feeding.. i managed to surprise them (: well, a bit too much i guess.. since sz is thinking of putting me as centre some other times i guess..

fourth quarter- goal keeper (well, same….. ._____.) so finally, i'm back to my original position.. got penalize a lot.. and i suppose blacklisted by umpire for talking while they are doing penalty pass/shot.. overall.. not good.. not good at all, even though i recovered from my third quarter.. D: i will work on it..

hmm… i can't decide which position i like better.. i mean i knew somehow.. that i will play C.. Sz was joking about it the day before.. so i suppose i was sorta prepared.. but i think the idea scare me more than i thought it would.. so i could not really enjoy C. I would like to be given a chance.. to once again play C.. (even though tiring) to try and enjoy it (: When i played WD.. it was a small taste of playing GD during tangling match ^^ small , but one nevertheless. I do miss my performance during that match :P i dunno if i will ever hit that lvl again..but let's not dwell on that :D

Two more matches this week… two more matches till year end league is over.. two more matches till the disband of the current chase… two more matches till i return to a boring (once per week training routine) Two more matches till the end of a wonderful journey that i had the privileged to undertake.. two more D:

on the bright side (: if we win the two more matches, we will emerge top of the division and the cash money is enough to cover the participating fee and umpire fee.. :D whee~

for C or WD.. there was once that i managed to pressure the attacker to held ball :D alone i think… (:

no, i shall disregard the fact that they are c div! lol..

I would like to play against some opponents in the other division… venture's division to be exact… haha… this is not the west zone where one group can fight to get into the second round.. ._____. but i would like the chance to play against some teams in venture division… Like, MEH( singapore sports school), Thunder( RV graduate team), RV current B div and obviously.. Venture itself (: the current venture i mean.. :D

they are interesting opponents ( no offense to the rest) and it would be great to test my ability against their shooters ( i juz love it when i managed to put up/ overwhelm the opponent.. no i know i'm not a great defender.. i'm above average… but if i don't go up against stronger opponents, how do i move forward/ improve? Also, the team will definitely benefit from the match.. but seeing that if wishes were horses, i would be rich by now….AND the current chase would probably be over once this is over… *shrugs* i will continue to dream i guess…

A lengthy post, which most were done during a bus trip back home.. so i guess this will do first… will update soon again (:

i found out, once i'm away from mother hen, the little chick in me gears up for a better performance... why? Why can't i do it with mother hen around?

2010-11-29T02:54:00.003+08:00

ok, so i'm soooo overdue for an update? what with the major events that happened/ going to happen.

Here's a quick post to remind myself wat to update...

1) match against river (it was umm.... enlightening)

2) seniors chalet :D

3) choice of cosplay

4) ~~the upcoming~~ this week's schedule

5)somemore mindless rambling

6)thoughts that are swimming in my mind....

ok, till then! *ciao* gotta go sleep D:

and knowing me... dun expect updates any soon...

2010-11-23T22:55:00.001+08:00

Everyone faces different obstacles and problems on their journey. In one's opinion, their own road will always be the hardest...

But that's the main reason why everyone is different, why there aren't copies of the same person...

For those who are feeling that their particular obstacle is a huge huge wall, all I can say is, it's not a dead end, it's juz a stupid tall block of stone that is harder to climb over.

Hang in there....

2010-11-15T12:36:00.002+08:00

I will give brief update on life :X i suppose...

well, last tue's match was postponed AFTER we reached there -.- and thurs, i didn't go down to support them. I went to cosplay cca instead.. since, for once, they were having an, i suppose, useful 'lesson'. It was choosing the character to cosplay.

Well, then they said that they want everyone in the cca, to cosplay at least once... and asked everyone to choose three then show them.... Though like all the other times, they didn't actually reinforce it. I know, i know, i shouldn't rely on them to push me to do smth. Heck, i dun even know if i wanna cosplay... i still can't decide. well, one surprising thing though.... the number of members dropped a lot... like 2/3 of them quitted :O

yea, so my dilemma for this week: should i cosplay....?

well, i suppose if i disregard all the materials and work needed (which according to yvonne, would roll after i actually start on it) i guess the only things left standing will be my feelings about it and if i want to take up another so-called project...

I have to make this decision soon.... i want to know my own answer soon but i loathe to put a time/date to this decision... i want to figure out this situation soon but i find myself putting it off till tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow....grrrrrr.... i infuriate myself sometimes.....

it's not that i dislike it... in fact it's the direct opposite... i love it but not enough to actually start walking that path....

yes, the work needed for it, scares me but i guess i'll trust yvonne that it will look better once i start on it.

A friend offered to help me if i wanna cosplay lightning, since she's doing it too..... no, dun get me wrong.. i DO want to cosplay lightning... but i juz do want her to be my first one... i've no idea myself why i feel that way...

i hate to struggle with this decision till there's a definite dateline and give a slipshod work too...

bah .__________.

for this week's meeting, i guess i will see it's what before i choose to join on thurs or not...

I also have a huge worry gnawing on me....(shoo!) will i be able to get into digital animation (DA) in the 2nd year.... I will srsly hate to go interactive media(IM).... since DA is the reason i joined this course....but this is all talk and no action =.=

obviously, i'm running into problems in my perspective drawing... argh.... ._.

i didn't want to leave it in such a surly note... but i dunno what picture to make so *shrugs*

2010-11-10T21:23:00.003+08:00

sorry, for the long absence from blogger

hmm.... let's start with yesterday since too many events passed D: skip this unless u wanna hear my thoughts on the game..WARNING: it's lengthy.. ok, yesterday it was the first match for chase...it's the PwC Year End League at kallang .. ._______. so far... ytd match was suppose to be easier.. since we were up against bowen secondary school.. it's not that i look down on secondary school but we played with bowen before.. so it wasn't much :X

41-26, yes we won but it was a struggle for the first two quarters. We were actually DOWN by four/three (if i'm not wrong) for the first quarter... Partly it's because all of us were nervous and not calm (hence the pass is far far away)and partly it's becuz our defense bringing down the ball is screwed.

i gotta confess though.. it has been a while since i faced an around-my-height shooter.thankfully, that she does not move much but rely more on her height to get the ball.. unlike the rs shooter ... =.=

yes, i played gk for all four quarters.. and ytd served to remind me why i enjoy gk as much as gd (: no, dun get me wrong...i had difficulties against her.. firstly, my height advantage severely was outweighed by her height and the pass. you see, the pass is to the back of both us.. so it is harder for me.. who's in the FRONT to effectively grab her ball.. mostly it was near misses and wrong pass that caused her to not obtain the ball.. in fact, i should have done something more rather then keep challenging her ball but i was kinda out of ideas.. and stubborn =.= i think i was too stubborn in refusing help from elisha..

i apologise.. i seriously actually thought that i could have gain her ball but all i did was just scare them with my near reach of the ball..if the opponents was better.. i wouldn't have got the ball at all and that will be a big prob... since i believe elisha can't really get the ball either..no i'm not insulting.. elisha skills dun lie in that direction + she already had problem with this shooter. So any taller shooters will be left to me and my brain to figure smth out i guess...

sorry elisha..._. i was giving out commands all the while during the match..i was actually way nervous during the whole time.. hence the shouting.. :/ i don't believe that i managed to get three or four calls of pushing in the third quarter! D:<>

my reactions improve yes, but not enough..i also tend to knock balls out even though i should have caught it..

bah... i shall not go on and depress myself any longer =.=

let's see... i'm really busy these few weeks/days

tmr-sch>library>home and chiong perspective drawing hmwk
fri-sch>home>hopefully play mabinogi
sat-hmwk>grandma's bday celebration
sun-AFA!>home>hopefully play
mon-sch till 8 pm =.= (jap LOR)
tue-sch>home>match in the night
wed-hmwk/ playing com
thurs-sch>kallang-go down support venture
fri-sch>hopefully movie night

so far.. my plans are like this... if it's so packed.. how am i suppose to find a cca?

i'm going afa on sun with my bro.. hopefully i can purchase some great things ^^

ok, better stop here.. i gotta type out a script for the mock interview on fri... adieus! till the next update...

i had a weird dream that involves running... a lot and non-stop running... i ran w/o any thinking.. w/o any real reason.. strangely, it was her who chased after me... even if i was the one who was running away, i felt like wanting to stop..argh, i dunno how to describe.. it's like a longing that i wanted someone to stop me.. to ask me, to comfort me... no i dun remember the initial reason for running.. i just knew that i had to get away... yet there is a part of me who wanted to stop and crumble.... and then there was an exhilarating feeling while i was running too.. like i was free... free from any shackles to reality/worries/frustrations...free like when i'm participating in a fun netball training or game, free like immersing myself in a good book, free like exploring a new game, free like i had not been in a long long time... and the enormous relief when she caught me.

no i dunno wat to make of this dream.. then again it's a dream.. a thought by my restless mind... i had enjoyed it while it lasts :D

2010-10-27T21:32:00.003+08:00

woah.. two update in a week? i muz be bored :D

then again.... till now i've no hmwk..(hooray for first week, though i heard from yvonne that tmr.. principles for animation WILL have hmwk =.=) and besides.. smth happen today so i wanna blog it out.. partly cuz it's bothering me and partly so that hopefully by typing out.. i'll unds more abt it :X

let's see.. had 3DD today... which is a step up from last sem's 2DD. .________. so first part of lesson, we went through some old theory and some new ones.. i tried really hard to listen.. (REALLY) but well, it made me sleepy so i used my laptop and TRIED to multi-task. not too successful though .______.

anyways... today class work was trying to see an object in simple shapes like cube, cylinder...etc. So we have to draw an object out, using the simple shapes er, i mean form?

i had no idea wat to draw...since my friend beside me was drawing gun... i felt like drawing one too. I didn't want to be exact as her so i discarded pistol.. rev is to bulky with the reload chamber....sniper, there's weird shape...shotgun, can't find an interesting one.. till i realise that alice carried a shotgun... so model solved :D i drew a simpler shotgun then the one i found in google. it's still a shotgun but it looks different then the one in the pic la...

ok so i took my sweet time finding the model and drawing it out...

next, we had to ink it in... and the next step will tell u why is this necessary..

tada.... we had to ink it because we had to render the image =.= rendering is basically shading...ALTHOUGH.. rendering in my mac dict is : Computing the processing of an outline image using color and shading to make it appear solid and three-dimensional. so i had to shade a lot.. then she wanted it to be dark so 6B!

hmmm.. i started out with HB but a lack of time forced me to switch to 6B half-way through :X so shade~ shade~ trying to complete it before class ends...

hmmm.. that's when the issue happens... it's nothing bad... but i dunno wat to make of it u see.. when u do ur own drawing /shading / u create smth on ur own... u will tend to not view ur creation in the same way as others.. u will get so used to every line, colour/shade until u are not even sure if wat u are doing is correct or wrong... don't u agree? it's ok if it's the anatomy... but u can hardly judge ur own drawing anymore... even the worse drawing is ok to u...

so my dilemma is this.....i was praised by 3 ppl(? dunno the exact number... was concentrating on getting the render correct) for my rendering... but i dunno if they were praising me because it was good OR because the picture came from me and that is a good picture coming from me, from wat ability they think i have...

i'm insecure... i always am...and will always be..

i got to admit.. the hols workshop helped me.. PLENTY.. i learnt that by moaning that it's impossible to do this, it's hard to do that , it's crazy to even attempt that.. does not help one bit.. all i'm doing is wasting my time and i'll end up rushing... (look at my contest entry) so the best method is to throw urself into it... juz try.. juz get smth out.. nvm crappy or not because by doing smth abt it, by starting it, half of the battle is alrdy won. It's harder then it sounds and i still have much to learn.. still have the same battle fighting each time, still have the same fear that it will fail....but if i dun do smth abt it , i'll nvr know, i'll regret.....

i gain confidence.. or false bravado at the least... from the hol workshop...

take mon for an instance.. we had perspective drawing and had 3 in-class exercise to do. I look at the first one and decided to take an analytical approach... see wat comes first.. see what is needed to be done first then what is next...it worked well.. and i managed to complete it w/o much problem.. (not bragging here =.=) so the next one is more challenging and an analytical approach won't work.. we had to draw floor tiles in perspective.... so i seeked help... from my friend.. and well, with her pointers and learning her lesson (dun draw too many floor tiles, the lines will overwhelm u) two down, one more to go...

last one was way challenging and i juz threw myself into it... juz whack and with many errors later.. it was done (whew...) another friend then ask me how to do number one and two and i juz explain.. nvm that i'm not too sure that my method is correct.. nvm that deep down, i fear that she will say that it's no good... nvm that i still am insecure.. see... false bravado .__.

ANYWAY... bottom line is that i got some confidence in my drawing skill now.. i dun care if a wall is in front of me... or a castle is in front.. if thinking don't help.. then plan R (for reckless (: ) juz throw in my best and hope that it work lor.....

i might not win the war in the end and i might be giving ground.. but i will know that this loss is worth it.. this loss is nothing to do with me lying down and waiting for things to happen.. from now on.. i'm gonna make it if it does not happen. what's my aim? to win this war and walk the path that i had wanted to walk since sec 3... since the first time my eyes was open to that world..

wan yi, don't think about wat happens if failure arrives.. wat u're gonna do if i fail.. keep ur head facing forward.. cross that bridge unwillingly.. fighting each step that u take..trying every avenue to escape walking that road... DO EVERYTHING possible before giving up.... because u know, there's not a single speck of interest in that path...

and dun forget to keep ur small flame of interest for the other path (: ganbatte!

why are my posts so long? o.0

hope this will brighten the day after my dready post :D

guess who's looking at u (:

2010-10-25T18:59:00.004+08:00

two days before, on 23rd.. i received wat is probably my life earliest CHRISTMAS present ! haha

hmm? feel like blogging? first day of school is ok? considering the fact that i attended for 4 hrs only..no portfolio this week so 4 hrs..it wasn't perspective drawing all the way too... we had a prize presentation/briefing/welcome speech= boring like hell.. so it was an ok day since we were let off earlier.... went to settle some matters then visited the library (dramacon ! yay!)

bus-ed home and was irritated at the water dripping from abv =.= dilly-dallied till dinner and now i'm here blogging.. well duh .___.

juz read finish paranormalcy... :X quite interesting as it is a debut book and interestingly refreshing.. there are cliches yea... but other then that, it is different :P the idea, plot, character and classification is different (: go and search for it ^^ if u are into fantasy, i bet u will like it :]

ok, i confess, real reason i'm blogging is becuz i wanted to write (i mean type) a matter out. nowdays, i've no idea if i'm choosing to buy something because of the brand or the effectiveness.... take a small backpack for example.... i find myself looking at the branded ones like crumpler, nike, adidas.. etc. i dunno is it because they have more unique designs ( i dun like standard size and shape of bags) or because i want the brand ._______. this bugs me for some reason =.= sheesh

hmm.. despite today's lesson being drawing... i was quite confident (: so i guess the hols workshop did help [:

well, back to studying jap then ^^

my bday is on fri, going to eat jap food ^^ *hint,hint*

ps:( mac can't edit blogskins... grrrrrr)

2010-10-13T13:45:00.006+08:00

hmm? here to show u the pics i did on wolf boy..NOTE: i drew it and yvonne helped on the colouring for all except the shirt :X

The bag , i love the colouring that yvonne did on the bag the most^^

From Lunia character creation- wolf boy

the shirt, my first colouring.. and it took me several hours as i'm not used to the controls.. it was great fun ^^ coloured using photoshop :)

From Lunia character creation- wolf boy

pants

From Lunia character creation- wolf boy

weapon, leg charm and feather armlet

From Lunia character creation- wolf boy

hat

From Lunia character creation- wolf boy

finally, wolf boy himself with the equips :D

From Lunia character creation- wolf boy

for each equip, i actually drew in pencil then inked it before scanning it. I didn't do it for wolf boy because there wasn't enough time.. all in all it took me a span of 1 week to get myself in the mood to do it.. 5 days for useless research because in the end i modified many equips. one night to finalise the equips though some still got modified. one night with mum to accompany to draw full body of wolf boy and the equips. one day to draw each equip separately because i'm a bloody perfectionist in some areas. around 4-5 hrs of colouring of the shirt.one afternoon for the write-up and it still wasn't enough. and finally, one promise from yvonne that she will help me colour. That promise made me drew full body wolf boy.. i was about to give up...during the times i drew wolf boy.. my mum helped with the body proportions (: actually, it is not a given that colour is needed but the promise is wat kept me going.

next time when i enter such competitions i'm so gonna start way earlier.. so this sums up my entry that failed to enter top 11 =.= and lemme say, the prize suck too.. LOL but it is recognition i'm after so *shrugs*

it makes me wonder, can i complete anything on my own...and a sense of frustration usually follow this thought.

edited: srsly juz ignore the dirt on wolf boy pic.. it doesn't show up on safari for some reason =.=

2010-10-03T22:53:00.008+08:00

3rd oct

WOOHHHHHHH.. back for an update.. while eating leftovers and reading fairy tail and watching karate kid AGAIN....:X.. LOL ... two major event that i'm gonna blog today :P

cosplay AND shopping. yes, u did not read wrong it's SHOPPING! :x oh and

some update on my life... :P

ok, i juz ate finish and read finish ._____. now onto

blogging.. and *gets distracted by the movie*

sry T.T i'm back, really! hmm.. lemme see, i shall upload the group pic and

wat i find, the best pic of me

cosplay ..

tadaaa..... stupid blogger giving me probs =.= anyway, i'm the person with white hair, and that's kadaj from ff7 advent children.. hold on while i find a pic of him.. :D

here u go... not the best pic but i can't find one of a full body =.= well, i had to make do with the props too... ying tian (the gal in purple hair) kindly provided the costumes and wig for

us all ^^ THX A LOT! she say she had the genova box but didn't bring.. AW D:

ok, i know, i juz stopped blogging after that paragraph and i went to sleep, thus this blog post spread over two days.. :X

haha, ok, i'm juz too lazy to del ytd stuff so i'll continue from here.. :D

cosplay is fun :P really fun.. it's like u are another diff person.. like playing an online game, where u have a clean slate( or in this case, a path to follow) to work on.. It's like u can be that character! for that afternoon, i was kadaj :D

during the mini photoshoot, i was kadaj :D since i've no props, i used a skull and that was 'Mother' .. those who watch will know wat i mean ^^ it's fun really ^^ i'm thinking of gg back to that cca since i dun really have a cca to go to. Not that it helped much when i wanna cosplay but at least there is some ppl, i know in there.. no, i'm not afraid of gg alone to a cca, i'm afraid of gg alone to a cca where ppl alrdy know each other .___.

haha, i got a few ppl/character i wanna cosplay (: lemme find their pics :D

natsu kitagawa from skip beat.. no i didn't colour this but it is one of the best colour pics around. although the shoes are suppose to be red, no?

here u go, another pic of her

this is from the manga... and i had a mild interest in trench coat(?) before i saw her.. but after seeing natsu, whoa... i want to OWN one ! haha, gunz influenced me too.. lvl 20 trench coat? can't find a pic ._.

but i realise to cosplay, i gotta get contacts, cuz my degree is not so bad till i will bang into ppl but it is bad till i can't really tell someone's expression if i stand like 2m away! lols! then if i'm gonna cosplay natsu, i guess my legs will hurt from high heels.. not easy wor! haha, then still got make up :x and the projection of the 'aura' LOL... sounding

more and more hard by each sec.. But natsu is great isn't it? haha.. and unlike other characters, natsu's clothes have to be bought, there is no way i can make this... mayb the blouse have to be modified but other then that, now ay i can make it.. anyway, i went shopping with miss gwee ytd( will talk more later) and trench coats are like 100+ o.0 hope that she will be animated D: can't wait for the anime, or any news of the anime srsly..

ok, i'm sorry i went AWOL.... let's see... on mon, the whole day, i was chionging my wolf boy last touchups.. as in drawing the equips while yvonne helped me in colouring (: i invited her to my house so she can teach me digital colouring ^^ so in the night i tried colouring so yea.. finished drawing the equips and inking them.. then scan them in and then off to yvonne's house :P to collect my finished coloured wolf boy and to chiong my details on wolf boy... well, the result was out on thurs and sadly i'm not in top eleven .. D: well, it was fun doing it even though i chiong but it is a disappointment that i didn't get in....

so mon and tue gone, wed and thurs was spent in yvonne's house watching miyaski movies... sat was mapling the whole day.. today too.... mapling i mean.. my dad is using the com now though so i'm using this time to finish my post.. i dunno if i have that much time cuz my 2x exp is like at 9pm

lols, enough about natsu, next is LIGHTNING from ff13 ^^ though she is really popular among cosplayers.. whereas natsu, well no one have cosplayed her yet or should i say, i have not seen anyone cosplaying her yet, real life or online..

lightning ^^ a cool gal.. :P she's a heroine aka lead character in final fantasy 13. hmm.. wat exactly do i like about her, i can't really say, heck i dun even know it myself.

let's see... i love that she is a gun toting heroine.. haha, i mean gunblade toting. LOL.then she doesn't give up easily, she's a leader, a steady friend, and well, i do not know much yet cause i dun hv the full story but i will have it once i get a ps3 .___.

okok, i think i went off topic on cosplay -.- forgive me... haha, these are not the only two i wanna cosplay la... but the two more erm interesting ones? :x

ok, now for shopping ]: sry for the overdue post ._. i love new things.. specs, bag, phone,clothes and etc.. so whee~ new clothes.. i got a cardigan :P four new tops (: wheee~

great day out with miss gwee.. going into shops juz trying out clothes...then buy when happy with it....:P haha, it's really a great day out with her shopping till we are tired and i got to rush home :] i got to do this more ^^ time juz dashes by when we go shopping (:

yea, i got my eye on a bag and it is green and a backpack.. problem?: i think i saw 165 dollars but online store i saw 65.. how?

HERE U GO MISS GWEE... MY LONG OWNED POST :P haha... ~

2010-09-19T23:04:00.003+08:00

hmm? it's a long time since i updated? haiz.. feeling lost now.. really lost.. ok, let's start from the beginning.

1st. I'm gonna join lunia character creation.. I alrdy have 4 ideas to submit.. problem? finding the drive to do it, the time and the skill.. I do want to do it but it's not strong enough to do it NOW. The competition deadline is in two weeks and besides some character profiles... nth is up.. i might hv to decrease the number of entries that i want to make too.. it started with 5 then i dropped one.. and is considering dropping another two.. D: THEN, it's an international competition and i definitely dun want to submit slipshod work.. THIRDLY, it has to be coloured.. D= and obviously, the art style muz be clean and neat and able to fit lunia.. that means research,research and research... i have alrdy decided to stop writing stories and focus on this competition... for the next two weeks la.. that means each night i'll come home to do the work for the competition... i wonder if i can even complete it though... : /

2nd. Guilty... i feel guilty...dun ask me here though....

3rd. this is a crappy post... lols :/ i dun feel like doing anything but lose myself in the gaming world for the next few days... even doing plasticine don't excite me for tmr... ._____. i realise i always want to do this do that but when i actually get to do it... i procrastinate.. i suppose i fear failure and rather not try then see failure.. haiz...

like i say? crappy post =.=

it's really great going out with u :D u always encourage me.. thx for it :P u are probably the only one besides my mum who is complimenting on my drawings.. but that is not the point i wrote this *annoyed* i hope that u do smth abt the situation that u and her are in =.= i believe that deep down u want to go out with her.. but u are afraid.. u fear that nth will happen.. and come on.. let's face it.. when did nth ever happens when the two of u get together? i do wish to interfere but i'm afraid if i do.. both of u are meeting each other for my sake and i dun want both of u to think that way.. haha, do u know that i once felt the way u felt about them? ok scratch that.. i still feel that way but ARGH that is not the point.. i really do hope that u will do smth abt it rather then let this friendship slowly fray to nothing...or even worse, smth less mayb i'm over reacting but this is wat i feel... and if u dunno this msg is for u.. juz know that i updated cuz u request it :D as for why i write instead of telling u, is probably becuz i dun dare to tell u this? haha, i dun really know the real reason...

2010-09-15T22:19:00.002+08:00

i just went to saw resident evil: afterlife 3D with suming .. was kinda disappointed.. not enough action scenes, not enough Alice kickass moments.. and basically confused over some things.. well, then again the 3d glasses keep sliding off my nose is one thing and another is the worry that suming is not enjoying herself.. since she didn't want to watch 3d :/ also, i might be a bit influenced by the reviews that ppl gave :X

for some reason.. i couldn't get immersed into the movie like i usually do :X also, i was more into claire for this movie.. haiz.. :(

erm.. spoilers below???

first thing on my mind ever since i watch the trailer? the hair change.. it makes alice look way older....granted 4 yrs and dunno how many more mths passed but this hair suxs =.=

the new look:

the old look:

resident evil: extinction (no.3 in the series)

resident evil: apocalypse (no.2 in the series)

lols.. then there were not so many kickass moments for alice.. it's like alice have become more normal.. well, she still do incredible stunts, survive well, etc.. but there's less of her killing enemies easily.. don't tell me she lost her powers etc..

After she survive and 6 mths( i think..) has passed, she dun act human.. in the first place how does she survive the helicopter explosion ?! then, after getting whacked by the axeman. Fyi, she got whack to a wall and a piece of the wall actually broke... she recovers in like 10 mins?! Best part? she swings from a high rise building and landed safely.. let's not forget that she managed to avoid many zombies trying to grab her!!

sheesh! see wat i mean?

but the movie itself has many parts which surprised us.. surprise as in boo! that kind of surprise..u know? like heart-stopping moments..

I was glad that there were twists.. like how she use coins instead of bullets and the 'safe' place wasn't exactly safe..

K-mart just got a brief appearance D: I dunno why, but in my opinion.. claire is more kickass then alice in this movie.. or should i say... claire exceeds my kickass standard for her.. whereas alice didn't reach D: hmm.. i think the movie is too short and there are many side characters that died so quickly :X i like luther ^^

all in all, i think re3 is better.. though i haven seen number 1 and will do that when i hv the time :X

well, till the next time i update.. ciao :D

2010-09-05T22:19:00.002+08:00

yay.. quick small post.. lols.. erm.. not much to comment on my life i guess. juz wanna post my opening of a background story of a character.. no i'm not gonna draw that character.. rather the character is gonna be in a story that i'm gonna write.. yesh, u caught me.. going to write.. :X i haven actually write it.. but i will :D ok, now on with the opening..

Standing in the corner of the chaotic classroom, a vengeful angel leaned on the wall, observing the scene in front of her. Her lackeys soon reported back to her, “Lan, we had spread the rumors as planned. It’s amusing to see these students getting happy over something that can’t be trusted. ” All of her lackeys crowded around her, swapping tales and exchanging high-fives. Uncrossing her arms to clear strands of black hair that had fallen in front of her face, the angel stood. A clap to regain their attention, she thanked them for their hard work and passed out refreshments. Before dismissing them, she reminded them of the next phase and warned them,. “ Never let anyone find out that you guys are behind this, even if it means abandoning a part of the plan.” A chorus of “ Yes!” answered her. The angel smiled and mingled with the group before leaving the classroom.

i actually wrote more but i dun intend to release the background story till the main one is done. hmm.. i'm gonna start posting my story online.. :X yea... i do wonder sometimes, why doesn't singapore have a course for authors.. =.= ah, forget about it.. i know my writing isn't as powerful as those out there but i'm learning.. and hopefully i'll be one! one day that is ._.

2010-08-27T18:57:00.003+08:00

Oops, it's too long since my post... Many things had happened since then.. lemme see, i foolishly spend my two weeks away by being damn busy.. why foolish u ask? because i'm now embarked on a journey that i can't deviate from..

haiz, dun worry i did not leave my house. I meant it figuratively. I'm on a 6 week intensive drawing workshop. to be precise it teaches us manga art, sculpting, and the things that are related.. mon- fri, 9-5.. intensive enough?

Please realise that i'm blogging this to keep it as a log.. so far for these two days, these troubles are not plaguing me... Thx, miss gwee ^^ and sz

As always, i had doubts in my practical skills.... but i guess i accepted the fact that i'm a noob in drawing. What frustrated me on wed was that i not only lack practical skills, i lacked theory too. Usually when i draw a character, i have a clear image of what i want to draw in my mind..... i unds that due to my lack of skills, i won't be able to get the character to be what i visualize. However, i can't accept NOT having the knowledge.. for tue and wed, we had to do inking. I admit, inking is new for me.. but still.. my prob: when i ink a pic, perhaps all i do is just ink and mayb thicken some lines and fill in the hair and pronounced it complete.. BUT my friend will go on and shade the picture.. whereas all i do is stare at the pic. this is one issue.

Another would be my future... let's say i get into animation and graduate and went on and blah blah go into industry... Then wat? Let's see, my ideal post is concept artist. But to even be an animator takes yrs...8-10! who knows if i have passion throughout the whole journey? haiz..

i'm afraid of the future..

Another is the drive that is passion.. i got to find it.. :X and like miss gwee says, think short not too far for it will juz make u afraid of it.

I got plenty of phrases from this two peeps. :P

Plans are meant to be screwed- miss gwee.

Do the best u can out of it now-miss gwee

Look from another perspective- miss gwee

Worry is like a rocking chair, it gives u smth to do but gets u no where-sz..(though she found it somewhere)

So far for ytd , i was hooked on character designing. It's so fun creating a character from nothing.. then give it a look, personality, past, future, likes, dislikes..name..etc basically it's fun playing god.. LOL

today, i was hooked on inking.. cuz my inking gt template.. so as long as u follow, it won't be wrong :D

haiz, that's it for now.. sry to end suddenly..

2010-08-11T12:22:00.002+08:00

hmm.. time for an update.. :D more for memories sake then anything. songzhen's bday was the biggest event i had planned so far. it is somewhat successful though i feel that it has many things to improve.. :X haha, i think even though it was v.tedious , the feeling of seeing everyone enjoy themselves and seeing it come to fruition. it's worth it though i won't be planning anything big for the months to come :D ok, now onto the day :D

7/8: met the jias at lakeside.. sry i'm late :D then we went down to meet alicia and piggy to write on sz's shirt :D then we met up with the peeps who were suppose to be watching movie.. lols ^^ hmm.. loiter at the void deck while waiting for some ppl to write on the shirt and for alicia to contact the bday gal :X -skips- we hide in a room and brought the slippers in ^^ eh, set up the cake, and decorate the board.. we were lucky no one else were thinking of suprising her too o.0 i think walin's -- "hahhh-" will make us laugh for the yrs to come lor ^^ eh.. then afterwards sz came along and alicia forgot to tell us! lols, surprise went well(?) ahh.. it was unexpected for her anyway... cut cake,then everyone went home at abt 1am(?) me and the jias stayed overnight.. and i'm nvr gonna sleep in the middle ever again D:

8/8: woke up and sz's dad brought us down to jp :D haha, to alicia and piggy who got tricked by sz ! -skips- went to bird park and had a blast of time there.. i was itching to take photos but then i didn't bring my camera and no time anyway.. took a challenge of taking photo with the most ppl... did smth crazy and was worth it :D but we lost.. btw, 3 signatures only lor, as forfeit.. not bad, wanqian got a declaration of love on her arm ! lols! -skips- go for dinner at taman jurong food and market centre then a bonding(?) session at superbowl..

big thanks to alicia and cy and jq and the rest ^^

2010-08-07T13:29:00.001+08:00

thinking of changing blogskin... instead of blogskin.com anyone knows another site?

2010-08-06T12:20:00.002+08:00

I'm blogging to keep this as a lesson learnt. Mind u this is my viewpoint so if u think i'm foolish for thinking this way.. go ahead and close this internet window...

hmm..a brief explanation is needed here... i'm currently taking a module that requires us to draw still life. for the final assignment, we need to draw a truck , a spade ,pot , plastic fish, seashells.... Juz because i didn't include the colouring of the truck... i failed that drawing. nvm if i drew the rest in and they look quite decent. becuz of that one truck.. i fail the whole drawing.. to their defense , the teacher in charge did mention the truck is impt. BUT he walks around and he knew that i have no space to include the stupid truck, let alone that i want to draw it in. so why didn't he reinforce the point that i MUST draw the damn truck? why should i fail this stupid module becuz of ONE DAMN TRUCK? they disregard the sketches that i had, the coluring that i did ALL FOR ONE DAMN TRUCK? where got TRUCK so impt? so impt so that u can fail ur student? and then they say they will give me chance =.= as long as i turn in another drawing + colour to the damn teachers, they will give me a passing grade D. WTF? a D only? the only reason that i'll do it is becuz i dun want to fail this module.. BUT FRICK LA , I'M NT HAPPY WITH A D ...damn all of u teachers, damn the person who makes the truck so impt.. F--- U!yes, like i say before, my viewpoint, if u think i'm insane, the close button is up there.

and this concludes the lesson that i learnt today... nvr trust ur teachers.. =.=

2010-07-27T23:36:00.002+08:00

quick blog post k?

went down for training today... and i think sz is getting more sadistic each yr.. these few trainings we had to run with medicine ball o.0 ycs had friendly with jjc but we didn't get a chance to play D: awww.... reflexes are steadily improving though.. .___.

left one week to choing my fcp,pop,2dd ( poster and photoshop),dph...... doomed~ i say!

mysterious event sucessfully organised . I"M CROSSING MY FINGERS THAT IT WON'T RAIN!

2010-07-19T12:32:00.005+08:00

hmmm..? i'm back to blog after a depressing last post .__. the reason i'm blogging becuz the two blogs whom i'm following made me realize my readers or my future myself won't be satisfied with my posts.. my blog isn't up to date with my life, my events or my thoughts.. well, not v.up to date for now.. so i'm here to change it..

Poly: recently had been given many 3 week assignments which makes lessons redundant to attend. in fact, i could have stayed at home for today not for jap class.. jap class is fun with moriyama-sensei and i'm determined to continue.. but it shouldn't be on a mon =.= i do hope that jap 102 is taught to me by moriyama sensei again *crosses fingers* my workload is heavy but i'm not crushed by it ..yet.. becuz i'm doing it bit by bit.. but i fear time is running out.. i'm cca-less even if the cca do not count me one... i'm looking for a cca like the ones in sec sch where i belong ,enjoy ,look forward to and it's not juz another torturing experience..non-sports cca are out cuz i'll probably juz fall asleep in wateva talk.. sports cca are limited.. =.= so i'm cca-less for now.. more time to do assignments anyway..

life: life? wat life? i'm chionging my assignments so much that my weekends are burned and the only resemblance to my life is my continued playing of online games each week.. i want the holidays and i wanna go out with miss gwee, netballers, universal studio peeps..... so bad... and i want a haircut tooooo!!!! stupid poly workload...

recent events: hmmm? most recent is the netballuxion carnival ytd at novena.. yea, we sent two teams.. chase and venture.. i'm in chase but i did not contribute much.. but it's alright becuz we got capable teammates.. we didn't get into semis or second round.. we juz played three games and were out cuz we lost one.. venture was great ytd.. but chase is still lacking.. in terms of mentality(?) we are losing to venture.. come on chase, buck up! there's not much i can help until regain and exceed my former self.. which i will with time.. so i guess u small ones got to continue holding on for me.... dear captain.. dun shoulder everything by urself. we( b div ' 09) are there for u whenever u need a listening ear, someone to bully :) , someone to relax, someone to joke around , someone to argue =.= , someone juz to accompany u in silence juz like u have done for us..so pls, dun bear everything by urself.. we are still here for u even if we have separated our ways..hmmm, netballuxion has been the only thing that i'm looking forward to for weeks.. so w/o it, i'm back to a boring life..now only looking forward to the weekly netball trainings in ycs..and holidays.. and a secret event which hopefully we can organise a meeting for it..

netball: instinct is there but reaction time,stamina and agility is missing.. it's not that i'm the top in the three categories but they are the ones that i'm lacking the most.. it frustrates me when the ball flies past me and i know the course but fail to get it becuz i'm a tad slow, too slow to move my legs or simply got shut out by a simple maneuver ...sheesh.. =.= the prev me would probably be laughing at the me now.. i'm missing the trainings when they are two a week or three.. but i dun hv the time to go down... =.= again.. stupid poly timetable.. i think some concept are missing too and there are some bad habits that i have to change.. my passes are lacking strength too.. argh so many things are missing.. but at least i'm in my element.....this may sounds weird but i think ycs is a place where i'm confident about my ability to overcome obstacles for netball la.... strange right? but it might be due to the coaches .. hah.. i dunno but it's not much of a wall to me like the ones in my life.. at least netball ones, i've an idea of how to overcome or at least go around them...i still have tons of things to do and really, i need to have a link to netball where i feel i belong.. unlike the one in np.. i'm not sure is it becuz i feel i dun belong, becuz i've to start out as a newb or becuz it's too tough for me ... but i dun feel like gg for their trainings so i'm giving up netball as a cca in poly....

i want more carnivals pls ._. though i know we need more trainings.. hah..

long post.. oops

(if u aren't miss gwee, i'll appreciate if u dun read this.. )

dear miss gwee, i'm selfish in wanting u to come to me when u need a listening ear, someone to confide or juz talk about ur troubles..when i'm not doing the same to u.. i can't apologize becuz i dun have it in me to seek u for help each time i have troubles becuz i'm too used to solving it on my own and when ic an't then i'll seek for help.... i do miss our long conversations so let's find a day during the holis to go out together the entire day ok? i promise i won't blow it off for wateva reasons.... i do miss the closeness,the talks with u, the company of u and mostly i miss u.... i realise my mistake about the last holiday movie meeting.. i'm v.sorry i got carried away at that time..

2010-07-04T21:29:00.005+08:00

it has been ages since i blog.. :X mayb becuz i didn't see the need to.. haiz.. thousand and one things has happen since.. where should i start? hmm.. lemme see.. i shall skip the energizer carnival :X

genting trip was a well deserved and well needed trip :D had tons of fun up there.. did a lot of thinking too.. This time round, we (my bro and me) played almost everything in the outdoor theme park..well, except for some kiddie rides, flying coaster, the tall thingy..( lols, i dunno exact name but i got height issues : /)... i dun believe it but i actually took some roller coasters...wow.. corkscrew.. and cyclone.. cockscrew was juz plain scary.. i mean we actually went 360 degrees!..i was regretting it when it started and less regretful when i stepped down but i regretted closing my eyes when they take pic .. i'm the only one i think :P cyclone i took twice.. log flume once.. too many damn ppl to truly enjoy the outdoor theme park..queues can go to 1 hr!.. i'll sit flying coaster..one day..

hmm.. i was still in holidaying mood when sch reopened.. cold water was poured over me as i received my score marks.. two failures, one for pop and 2dd.. sigh... i wonder how long can i keep this resolve.. i'm too afraid to set a goal.. it might be impossible for all i know... i feel like writing a story but i lost my notes =.=

hmm.. recently we went to the botanic gardens.. my second time there, though i dun remember the first.. and among all the modules, i can say i'm faring well in dph *digital photography.. well, not that i dun love the other modules...(liar...) but i'm confident in this module.. to say in the least.. i'm proud that the lecturer said that he like some of my photos :D hmm..i'm afraid to hope for the future.. wat if i dun get into the animation route? haiz.. take a look at my flickr account for some photos that i took :D

i love netball.. seriously.. i dun think it can not be a part of me.. i'm gg for weekly training but it's not enuff.. i wish i can play it for the whole week ...

i feel lost..

recently, i talked to u.. somehow, i felt like there's a wall? did i place that btwn us? i apologize..seriously.. i'm missing talking to u, missing meeting u, missing the old days that can never be recovered...i'm beginning to sound like a lover =.= i'm still excluded in the class and i accept the wall i have built around myself in class..... i dunno why i built it but i still feel a twinge of sadness when u guys have a good time.. but i built it so i will accept that fact..i feel like i lost my self when i entered poly.. and my true self is buried inside me.. and only appears in rare moments.. wat happen to the smiling, friendly me? where did it go? who is this quiet, emo person ?

2010-05-29T20:42:00.002+08:00

i feel old... and i feel like i miss out a lot on life.. i was thinking this as i saw my little cousins running down the staircase from my grandmother house juz before their parents did juz for a few mins of playing at the playground. It reminded me of how me and my bro used to do that. Nowadays ,i'll still go down but i go down to keep an eye on them ... see, i miss those days .. where i have no worries ....haiz... now i have tons of problems.. i can't imagine the time when i have to go out and work... when my parents cannot support me anymore and it's my turn to support them.. i also can't imagine the time when i have a family of my own ( provided it does happen)

D: i think of all this while waiting for my mum to come down.. sheesh....

let's see..for the upcoming week, i almost everyday got an assignment dateline. As for the week after that, it's my ct week... i think i'll flunk all the theory tests cuz i'm not listening to class... D: then the week after that horrible ct week is street netball carnival :P then HOLIDAY!!! GENTING~wahahaha...can't wait :D

2010-05-21T00:16:00.004+08:00

well.....i'm here again... it seemed that i only blog when i want to whine about smth. Firstly, lemme explain why u will usually see my whining post after wed.. the simple reason is becuz my drawing fundamentals is on wed. U see every week we have to do 5 sketches. Then during lesson we will do some drawing and present our sketches to the class at the end of the lesson.

The thing that is making me whine for this week is this issue: i spend the time drawing my sketches... i stayed up till 3 am to complete 5 of my sketches . I know my friend would probably spend most of her time on her sketches so i can't discount that fact. I know i can't compare to her drawing ability but SOMEONE FRICKING EXPLAIN TO ME HOW CAN SHE WITH 3 DRAWINGS GET FULL MARKS ?! i didn't ask for my marks... but come on... it's like mocking me.. WHY THE HELL SHOULD IS SPEND MY TIME DRAWING TILL THE WEE HRS WHEN I PROBABLY WON'T EVEN GET AS GOOD AS HER IN A MILLION YEARS?! i drew 5 of them and i did not even come close to reaching her level. someone tell me why should i even work hard when i can't beat her at all? yes, she's the best drawing student in my class....but in terms of drawing in the class.... i'm ranked at the lower half of my class.... someone seriously tell me why should i continue sacrificing my time when i dun even know if i'm making progress? someone pls tell me why am i placed in this class? I told my friend of this predicament and she said it's good that i'm placed here...so that i would learn to not get depressed easily...but i'm sry friend,i'm alrdy caught in the web of depress...

i know that my classmate is thinking for me when she suggested that i should draw smth simpler for 2DD but still it hurts... it hurts when someone suggest that i should draw smth that doesn't need details becuz i'm a lousy drawer.....

remind me why did i choose this course again?

i'm ranting again.....

2010-05-18T08:58:00.002+08:00

Juz went to talk impromptu talk, so heart is still beating quickly =.="' let's see... i shall start talking abt sch by describing my week. Monday is photography day, tue is IS day, wed is drawing day, thurs is programming day and friday is 'slow' day D:

recently, i've been reading one piece and i got to say that my emotions were taken for a wild ride. For one thing, there is always excitement throughout the whole series. I started reading from where the library books most exciting part left off at : the albasta(?) arc. So i started reading one piece even though i said i won't =.= I was very very sad at the robin arc D: T.T her life is damn sad.... glad the pirates got her back. yesh, ace arc is sad too D: but i'm bias towards robin :P

hmm... for sch life, i'm juz living each week as it comes... also, i'm finding no time to play online games during fri-sun T.T SOB! i wanna play gunz~~~

2010-05-05T01:20:00.003+08:00

sorry for nt updating for so long... basically, i'm gonna skip the rest of the ict camp (i love gliz :D) but i'll talk about the trip to uss :D but not today... also i'll talk abt sch but then not today again... yea... random update.. i know...lols...

what happens if i can't continue anymore? what happens if the most crucial thing that is needed for the animation is the crux of my problem?what happens when i start to doubt myself and start to feel inferior compared to my classmates?what happens if all i want to do is to throw my problems away and start running away?what happens if i don't know who should i turn to, to tell these problems? what happens if i can't see the things that everyone can?what happens when i'm faced with a wall that is too high to scale now and i feel like breaking down?what happens if i disappoint my parents who had been so supporting of me?what happens if i feel like crap whenever i have to do sketching?what happens if i start to dislike it?where is the answers when u need them? what happens if i simply stop moving forward or stop moving altogether?what happens when the words give up starts to appear in my mind?what happens if looking at my classmates drawings make me feel that i'm way out of my league, that i'm not on the same level as them? what happens if i give up now and let things unfold as it is ?

2010-04-05T12:12:00.002+08:00

haiz... i'm blogging now since i've to stay for 45 mins before i can continue my software installation cuz i forgot my pw... D: rawr! bully lor they.. ok..... anyway... i also v.long nvr update...

sports camp

i did not attend the first day since i was not sure if i recovered from my flu and sore throat... the activities over the 3 days were numerous o.0 we did dragon boat(tiring) ,played a weird and chaotic netball, rolled in mud, doused in a water i dun wish to know wat it contains, covered in condensed milk, slept in the wee hrs, watched a demo of canoe water polo and more i suppose.i forgot o.0

my gl and grp members rock :D all of them are friendly :D

ict camp 3D0 :D

i was late for abt 15 mins? at first they ask us to sit in a big big circle... i tot all of them were my grp mates.... (hell to remember all the names) that was when i made my first fren in that camp o.0 tan yan :D then afterwards they ask us to separate into diff grp :D i'm grp 6 and so is tan yan :D then after we intro ... i found out yvonne is the same grp as me :D yvonne goh, my pri sch fren :D same course too :P haha..not bad from my grp there are 2 gals and 2 guys excluding me from my course :X

then i shall continue soon cuz it's gonna be 1 pm soon :D

2010-04-03T17:05:00.000+08:00

i'm back :D and lazy to update... :P as usual :D so pls wait patiently :X

2010-03-29T21:29:00.000+08:00

gg ict camp so ps for no updates :D will update soon~

2010-03-23T22:40:00.001+08:00

i'm backkkk~ and i sunburned my face and lip :D power! haha........... my lip is white now :P LOL will update soon ~ woots........ :D i'm coming, MY BED :P!

2010-03-19T19:31:00.002+08:00

hmm... i planned... out my day today.. but i woke up and was sick =.= with flu and sore throat D: sianz.... i haven fall sick for a long time but why now? i was suppose to be gg for sports camp :'( but now have to get well first T.T i wanted to go and see doctor in the afternoon but decided in the night then go see... reach there and saw a notice... closed for fri(night) and sat =.=

@#$%! haiz...... so see how tmr lor.. but i'm much better since morning ... it nvr rains but it pours ._.

*sniff*

2010-03-16T19:37:00.002+08:00

yay! so long never blog le :D anyways, last sun, 14 mar... i got my macbook pro :D woots~ on mon, went to np to attend software talk :D sheesh... i still muz make appt then can download the software... sheesh D: anyway, after 22 mar then can make appt. can't wait to play with my software :D haha...... i might be gg to a 4day 3 night sports camp this sat :D hopefully i get chosen.. downside is that there might be high elements and water activities =.= nid swimming suit o.0

i asked a stupid qn at the talk :D so i feel like a fool now D: lols... i'm a mac noob so i'm learning my laptop now...

also i'm thinking of naming my laptop 'orange' :D haha~

2010-03-07T22:29:00.001+08:00

i wanna watch alice in wonderland and how to train ur dragon, anyone?

2010-03-07T21:41:00.003+08:00

feel like blogging...... missing my mum a lot :'( well, the situation at home is getting more chaotic until i wonder. really wonder.. what is the true definition of home? I mean... i can't spend a week at home without listening or going through at least one scolding by someone. So is a home a place to come home to sleep at or a home is a place to come home and rest?

on a cheerier note, i'm getting crazy about final fantasy 13 which is out in some stores. Not only the graphics are wonderful but the game play owns too :D love the main character lightning. my bro and i even bought a clear folder on our fav characters. though my bro is determined to raise enuff money to buy all 5 of them o.0i'm definitely getting FF13. all i need is time only. wahaha ... lols...
lookie, link to the official trailer :Dwww.youtube.com/watch?v=TU-mCRvtX8g

i'm getting the mood to write my story too. :D woohoo ~

2010-03-01T00:22:00.002+08:00

feel like blogging. Firstly, mom is gg china tmr.. exactly where, i'm still blur blur one so dun ask me :D secondly, rushing scholarship in the middle of the night now.. deadline is *yikes* today! so yesh, still rushing. when submitted.. i hope *crosses fingers* that i'll called up for interview.. that is my first obstacle...then after the interview muz hopefully get accepted :/.. anyways... i'm v. busy with enrolment form right now thirdly, my lunia still can't work!!and lastly, changing my hairstyle tmr!

2010-02-25T13:14:00.002+08:00

avril lavigne new song : alice :D very interesting :P

Trippin' out, spinnin' around.
I'm underground, I fell down.
Yeah, I fell down.
I'm freaking out so where am I now?
Upside down and I can't stop it now.
It can't stop me now.

I- I'll get by.
I- I'll survive.
When the world's crashing down.
When I fall and hit the ground
I will turn myself around
Don't you try to stop me.
I- I won't cry.

I'll play the game
but I can't stay
I've got my head on straight
And I'm not gonna change
I'm not gonna change
I'll win the race
Keep up with the pace
Today is the day that I start to pray
You can't get in my way

I- I'll get by.
I- I'll survive.
When the world's crashing down.
When I fall and hit the ground
I will turn myself around
Don't you try to stop me.
I- I won't cry.

I found myself in Wonderland.
Get back on my feet again.
Is this real?
Is this pretend?
I'll take a stand until the end.

(x2)
I- I'll get by.
I- I'll survive.
When the world's crashing down.
When I fall and hit the ground
I will turn myself around
Don't you try to stop me.
I- I won't cry.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfQgIA1iSYI

my lunia is giving me problems.........grrrrrrrrr!

2010-02-23T12:23:00.003+08:00

yesh, i think i owe it to my blog to blog a proper post.. lols. hmm... i think i dun mind working but i h8 consec days. i'm gonna apply for a scholarship soon but it's gonna be the dateline soon and i still need my cca records and testimonial! help!

on the other hand, i'm making zero progress on my story T.T why? i blame my compulsive need to game whenever i think of writing my story... haiz, i think it's better to wait till i got the mood again..

as for now, i'm gonna play lunia with my arien :D chiong ah!

ps:( i love shopping cuz it means finding different sides of me :D ) (i juz bought another top ytd :D)

psps:(my cny sleevless hooded top is not sleeveless but half sleeve, oops :D)

2010-02-22T13:00:00.002+08:00

ok....it's been a long long time since i blog and i dunno wat to blog :D it's not that i have nth to blog about but it's more like i'm too lazy to blogged about the things that happen :D well, let's see..... i really enjoyed the movie outing with the two jias :D i think both of them dunno how to enjoy the movie :X lols... but i and my bro really enjoyed the movie:v-day :D v.funny esp the two taylors! lols..

nope nth to blog about except i'm getting bored of work ... lols

i found a new technique of gunz :D i'm using pistol and shotty.. instead of my ususal double shotty or shotty then pistol..

2010-02-17T20:32:00.003+08:00

hmm... the last post wasn't like me :/ lols... i have one million and one things to blog and post but i'm too lazy lols! i think i came to a conclusion that staying at home is the best! why? becuz we went to the ang bao river the day before (mon) and everything was overpriced. Play spinner =7.50. eat honey candy=$4 . the things that are free is the viewing of the laterns and crowds. So many PPL !!! i met mei yin and mei zi there :D so random lor. i was like wandering around then i saw the familiar green colour of 3e1 class tee! haha... gg to watch v-day tmr :D taylor and taylor!! :P

2010-02-11T00:24:00.003+08:00

i think i'm gonna be blogging weekly from this time onwards cuz i dun have time :P juz finish my consec days and have mixed feelings about living wcp =.= well, i'm gonna return next weekend to work :] i have 4 digit in my bank acc though half is the money originally in it =.=
no, i dun wanna hurt ur feelings. It's not that i blame u but i just wanna write somewhere that i'm disappointed that i'm not gg with u.it's not that i dun like the others but it's more of the feeling of not close knit.it's like i have to share u with the others that i can't have ur full attention with me....i'm sorry if i gave u false hope...and i'm sorry but i most likely won't be gg after all....
bored :D gg to sleep le if not mum gonna jump. will probably blog tmr or the day after :P can't wait to wear my new yr clothes :D
i think i'm weird but i'm somehow yearning to have someone who can listen to me ..wateva the time and with wateva problem but i'm sure there is no one like this...

2010-02-04T23:05:00.003+08:00

i wanted to post many things but >< lunia lor... lols.. my story is making slow progress... i'm working from sun-wed... the horror :P but it's a sacrifice well made :D i wanna see the blind side.. anyone want see with me? :( i got to go :D see ya

2010-02-02T16:13:00.003+08:00

warning: long post ahead!

yesh, it's exactly one week since i last posted. no, i'm not forgetful but busy :D last thurs(28 jan), i got my POSB acc up and running :D i finally get a POSB card :D haha ..... i'm obsessed with amassing plenty of money now.. ^^ not only i save some money to pay for my laptop but also i want buy a new game platform :) most likely PS3 or DS :D cuz the games are so fricking cool. ^.^ PS3 has FF13 (the characters are as cool as usual ):D and bayonetta(?)(cool idea of a female protagonist!) and FF14(according to my bro) while DS has megaman :D, pokemon ^^ and many more. I think i can only choose one though :/ my bro would probably help with some of the cost of PS3. so hmm...

oh, yesh, i'm posted to my first choice :) animation in np :D i'll do my best !! ^.^ i hope that my drawing will improve o.0

my stories has no improvement yet cuz i'm bringing psp to play during weekdays so i dun hv time to think of a beginning. Lols. i'll start today. :D

my workdays from 3 increases to 4 and i suppose it's alright cuz i'll be earning $200 a week :D sadly, this event will be ending at abt one week's time and this sun is the last sun so i'll be earning $350 more only :( then after cny i'll switch to kiddie rides, i think.

yea, this sun is the last one!!! woots~

my first $200 goes like this. $100 my first deposit! 38.80(?) for maplestory bundle for mum :D, 5+ for FF13 poker cards for my bro . the rest to food :D my 2nd pay of $150, all goes to the bank :D wahahaha, i'm gonna be rich ! LOL :D

oh ya, went cny clothes shopping last sat with mum and bro. I think, i seriously am slow lor.only this yr did i start to appreciate tops(besides my usual T-shirt). me and my mum was like gg to each shop to browse and comment and try.my bro was v.cooperative by reading the whole load of comic books while we go in and browse. And was v.sweet by not fussing much when he ran out of comic books to read ! i think i LOVE my this yr new year clothes and simply CAN'T wait to wear them.

Me and my bro bought two outfit each. I bought a sleeveless hooded tee :D so cool and a red half length pants ._. ( i wanted 3 quarter but i dun think so have...) my second outfit is a secret.. shhh....:D i'll be wearing it to ~~reunion dinner~~ oops, change of plans, wearing this for chu yi^^ and perhaps if we meet up for cny, i'll wear my secret outfit too. my bro bought a collared shirt and a very COOL shirt with a hood (: he rocks in it!! forgot if he bought any pants. He bought converse shoes( he nearly went bonkers and wanted to buy PURPLE coloured shoes!i mean PURPLE?!) i bought some v. nice looking pair of slippers(?), i dunno how to describe but it's not my usual style of shoes.so overall, i think i surprised my mum and even me by going for more feminine clothes for this new year ^.^ no don't ask me why i suddenly decided to do that. i also dunno :D

i also want go jogging this thurs :D my blisters are healing nicely^^ i'm working odd days(literally) like 1.3.5.7 ^.^ so come and visit me if any of u are free :D

2010-01-26T13:19:00.003+08:00

warning:lengthy post ahead !

fri

Was gamin like siao in the afternoon since i can foresee that i won't be touching the com for many days. In the night after dinner, we went over to my aunt's house. Spent the night watching HSM3 :D I'm not crazy about the main couple but prefer ryan/kelsey :D spent the wee hrs watching parodies :D

sat

After breakfast , we lazed around. Then we went kite flying at changi beach(No, we didn't see the ppl we saw during night cycling :D ) if i got more tan, BLAMe kite flying! Becuz kites can't fly near trees(later poor kites stuck in them) the person flying the kite must siffer in the sun T.Tthen we went swimming and dinner . at Dinner, we ordered the biggest plate of hor fun!

sun

went back to working on sunday i h8 sundays! so many ppl. good thing got two perks for last sun:D first, got small assistant helping me and secondly, Mr chua appeared! lols :D he treated me to mango pudding, so kind :D

mon

I recieved my pay today! WOOTS ~ $200! i realised i have to excersise cuz i sit down after eating lunch or dinner. Also many ppl are calling me auntie! sadded *goes to corner and emo *

i dunno why underlined

2010-01-20T22:10:00.003+08:00

forgot to mention i might be writing two new stories cuz i have nth to do during the weekdays of my job :D one is named manipulate ( i haven forget :D) it's going to be very very very different from the stories that i usually write :/

and the other is untitled. mainly becuz i thought of the plot, character's background and two scenes from it but i can't really think of the title :D mayb when it is done then ppl can help me think of the title. My second story is not titled as it doesn't really have a direction yet. Yes, i thought of the main plot and the beginning but not the end. haven thought of the ending cuz i dunno how will it flow towards the end. Lols :D i'm more of a think-as-the-story-unfold person :D yesh that makes me a very disorganized person but i can't help it >< and do u know the idea of this story came from my dream? i was actually in the two scenes :D so amazing right?

i have an idea for a third story too but it's gonna be hell to write it. i came up with this storyline during sch actually.i'll shelve it for the moment as it involves many characters... so yea..

2010-01-20T20:56:00.002+08:00

MMMM.... back after a day of EATING :D so yummy :D all our 'stations' are on the bus route-157. thx to bus guru JOYCE GOH :D, we had no prob taking the bus :D this is our route: Bukit batok (lor mee) ---bukit timah(?)sambal chilli rice & ban mian & alcoholic ice cream (tira-miss-u) & chick mushroom egg tart :D--- toa payoh(mango smoothie) :D

fun fun :D then we go jp to buy present (: met up with jia qi also :P

hmm... working tmr.. then break on fri :D then gg my aunt's house for fri till sat.. sadly sun i hv to work so yea.... NVM :D sun i'm gonna get my first pay :D woots~

joyce, next wed u MUST be free :D haha..

until next update (: see ya :D

2010-01-18T17:46:00.002+08:00

it was my first day of work ytd :D my work might seem simple but it's not lor. i'm the lady who's in charge of the bouncy castle. my job: to time the kids going in, to collect the tickets and to get the kids out once time is up. I really envy kids living in this time lor. to get the tickets(two activities and a workshop) , u have to spend 50 dollars.. and the bouncy castle isn't even unlimited time . Yet parents will just go spend.. omg lor. then i got complained by two parents =.= one is cuz i dun want to bend rules and the other one cuz of the rules.. so lame can.

my work makes me v.appreciate my breaks. my breaks are the only different thing in my day. Cuz my work is basically the same all the way. Also , since i have to time them, i will keep glancing at my watch so time passes v.slowly................then i work long hrs so my hrs seem LONGER..

wat keeps me gg is the idea of my pay.. Lols. and my off days which are basically mon,wed,fri,sat.

i saw ms teng ytd. or rather she saw me.. lols, i was rather overwhelmed with the requests so it took me a while to recognize her..

but nvm tmr got kf to acc me :D she will be working on the other activity but still she's there :D haha...

so yea, i'm enjoying today :D

2010-01-14T22:12:00.003+08:00

these are my choices :D don't blame me for caps :/ i juz copy off the form and paste it here, reorder, change font size and type :) at least i dunnid to type them down :) So here are my twelve choices :P only choice 3 and 5 requires 13 pts, so i will get into one of my twelve choices then again i'll probably get into the first one unless this yr everyone want go into animation :D

1 - N55 MULTIMEDIA & ANIMATION (NGEE ANN POLYTECHNIC)

2 - S56 GAMES DESIGN AND DEVELOPMENT (SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC)

3 - S43 APPLIED DRAMA AND PSYCHOLOGY (SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC)

4 - N90 VETERINARY BIOSCIENCE (NGEE ANN POLYTECHNIC)

5 - S70 CHEMICAL ENGINEERING (SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC)

6 - N78 DIGITAL VISUAL EFFECTS (NGEE ANN POLYTECHNIC)

7 - N68 PRODUCT DESIGN & INNOVATION (NGEE ANN POLYTECHNIC)

8 - S51 EXPERIENCE AND PRODUCT DESIGN (SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC)

9 - S89 INTERIOR DESIGN (SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC)

10 - S39 VISUAL EFFECTS AND MOTION GRAPHICS (SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC)

11 - S93 VISUAL COMMUNICATION AND MEDIA DESIGN (SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC)

12 - S94 LANDSCAPE ARCHITECTURE (SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC)

2010-01-12T13:43:00.002+08:00

^^ happy cuz the nerve-wreaking days of waiting for results are over, i got a job (Thx kf :D) and basically i'm looking forward to see how the 12 slots of courses ( I'M NOT GG JC!) are gg to fill up! Lols ^^i got to say that i, like every other ppl, was fretting over my results days be4 it was released... even hrs before. I thought, upon getting results, i will show some reaction like cry or wateva.. well, in the end all i did was to sigh with relief and feel satisfied.. well, the keyword is satisfied.. cuz i'm not quite happy with my sciences. on the other hand.. A maths and comb humans definitely surprised the hell out of me ^^ lols.. eng well, at least i pass.. Lols..

haha, i'm off to play my game le ^^ see ya ^^

it is antagonizing to stand by and not help u.. i'm sry but i really don't know how. i can only wish that u will be satisfied with ur future.. sorry

2010-01-03T13:02:00.002+08:00

okie.. here are the new year resolutions for 2010!! haha..

take better care of my gum..lols(my gum seems to be sunken or smth..)

hit level 100 for maple character(long way to go..)

Enjoy my course no matter wat i choose

roughly know wat do i want to do(rather lost now)

improve my skills of gunz ^^
learn something new (besides the things that i have to learn)
keep in contact with secondary sch frens ^^
make new friends ^^ lols
make my blog more active(?) lols
finish things that i start

lols, was aiming for 10 things on the list so most are weird..

2010-01-01T18:01:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 2010! haha, it's that time again.. went to sz's house ytd and thx to some ppl. we all decided not to sleep. Technically, i did sleep but it is in the morning! lols. It was plenty of fun with the dinner(late late dinner) games(pictionary where we learn that shina can't play!! haha) and juz lying down to play hangman! haha... came home and was v. v. hungry.. cousin came over to do sushi( yum yum ^^) ate till i was full.. then like a pig.. i was suppsoe to be reading and ended up sleeping .. ._. haha..

lemme see.. last year resolutions were :
score equals or more than c6 for chinese (done ^^)
get into the course that i want (animation :)) (not sure about it now :/)
play well enuff not to let myself down for zonals :) (half yes half no..)
have an eventful 2009 XD (damn eventful!)
not to leave any regrets (i have some)
become 3rd job for maple!! me lvl 60 le(completed!)
become lvl 90 for cabal. me lvl 66 le . (did not reach)
have amy for grandchase. me dun have. mayb shld buy cash.(cannot accomplished.. game closed down T.T)

lols.. i have to make new ones.. but lemme think about it.. first ^^

2009-12-29T21:51:00.002+08:00

i want to post smth but there's nth to post. i dun think i'm gonna work this mth. simply cuz no one is calling me T.T lols. new year eve is in two days time. so fricking fast ! i got to make new year resolutions le! omg.. so fast.. and then soon it will be poly open house then recieving of results. omg! so fast ._. where did time went to? out of the window! lols. i'm aching all over from helping out in the two days day camp o.0 haha...

2009-12-24T23:35:00.001+08:00

short post!EARLY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! posted exactly 23 mins away!! :P

2009-12-21T20:10:00.005+08:00

eh..i didn't realise it was 9 days since i last posted.. even though i'm not working... i still find ways to fill my days. and am busy up till the end of the year. got trainings at jj.. re-playing of a new game:lunia..lols.. so jiaqi forgive me for being a lazy bum to update.update only mind u! I'm updating now cuz i can't play lunia on my mom laptop.. lols. gg to nokia repair shop tmr to send in my dad's and my phone. my dad's phone is relatively new,while mine is cuz warranty is gg to run out soon.i've to go to wheelock place cuz suntec's one is closed le.. haiz.. i wanna work!! i still searching..actually i dun feel like updating the rest of the events.. juz update some photo of presents.. still thinking abt grad night shld i update a not..

i juz wanted to help..it's frustrating that help is wat that is not needed.also, try to understand me more? i'm tired of having silent arguments in my mind..

my presents ^^ from my mum, and peiying ^^ thx

from the jias^^ arigatou

drawn by my bro ^^

given by kayfun ^^

all wrapped up.. it's the abv pic present ^^

see wat do they write ^^

this was during one of our study day and we wanted the next table of ycs guys to help us take care our table

round one of opening presents.. i forgot to take a pic when they are neatly wrapped ><

2009-12-12T20:16:00.001+08:00

back from the chalet and is very very tired.I managed not to sleep in the afternoon by playing adrenaline-pumping game, gunz ^^ But i ran out of juice le, want go sleep le xD will update nxt time, i dunno when it will be. hahahahaha.

2009-12-10T16:52:00.002+08:00

i know i should update but there's one million and one things to update! ( yes, i'm exaggerating!) haha..i want to update my bday, how's me this few days, i think i'll give red camp a miss<<< except that it was wayyyyy fun ^^ lols, grad night...also. BUT i'm gg chalet tonight, my com isn't working well and i'm piss off that i can't play an online game before gg without it for one or two full days! ARGH! lols..so bear with my longer...pretty please with a cherry on top ^^ haha.. yes i wuv my skin too.. ^^ it makes searching worthwhile!

2009-12-09T21:50:00.002+08:00

oh wait! i want to blog why i chose this skin..! haha ^^ i search v.long . a few days le lor! before seetling on this skin! Firstly, the pic rox! it's dark.. giving a feel like she's an assassin or killer then she got cat ears! haha. to add on top of it.. The pic is beautifully drawn! omg... i hope i can draw like this one day...second, it's black! well, after green and blue, my next fav colour would be black! lols... that's all for today ^^

2009-12-09T20:42:00.000+08:00

after changing the blogskin.. i dun feel like updating.. lols! haha...early happy b-day to my bro! haha.. his bday tmr.. ^^ i locked the blog cuz it was still in the midst of changing skins ^^

2009-12-04T20:58:00.000+08:00

i'm still trying to find a nice blogskin....lols! >< i think i hv bad luck. those that i chose usually don't have the picture ...haiz..

2009-11-29T12:14:00.001+08:00

*stands up and proclaim!* i shall update once i find a blogskin!

2009-11-24T21:38:00.003+08:00

it suxs to be me now. I not only got blisters on my feet but also have flu..*sniff* so yea... i'm officially sick from walking back in the rain ytd.

i'm lazy to update on so many events. grad nite, red camp,this wk's events and many more. I have apply for a post at the game shop as sales assistant. though there is no reply till now. i applied on sun. well, see how la. if not go search others lor. lols. well, at least my days are filled now.. can't complain.

my anime soul eater is currently stuck. sob.. my bro's fault. apparently he's infatuated with maplesea's newest job. aran!

i also want change blogskin!

2009-11-16T20:31:00.003+08:00

felt like posting today! it's so rare that i decided to do it! lols! i tell u i think i'm suffering from short-term memory! i juz said smth aloud then mins later .. i forget le ._. omg lor! to quote my mum,"this is a sign of growing up!" to which we will reply "growing OLD!" Lols!

Went to the library today! spent the whole afternoon in there reading mangas! Slam dunk esp..! lols! so shuang! keep laughing to myself.. *looks ard* hope ppl dun think i'm nuts.. other then that...! Today is an enjoyable day!

Anyone can accompany me to central library?

i'm currently hooked on soul eater anime! so nice!! i'm chionging 51 eps! currently watched 12 ep le! jia you! haha

oh and i'm starting ~~work~~ i meant starting to find work at the start of nxt mnth! haha !!

2009-11-12T13:29:00.002+08:00

oh and stefanie sun new song ^^ it is a movie theme song i think ^^ the movie is called hua mu lan =x
http://www.12530.com/newweb/video/videoplay/i/43106.html

2009-11-12T12:33:00.003+08:00

yo!~ I had been breaking my self-imposed ban of computer.. *hangs head shamefully* haha. It started on last wkend.. i think. Then for the past few days i have on and off used the computer. I had been too lazy to update. haha. Been playing with a vengeance ._. lols. playing gunz and lost saga currently .

As for o lvl.. i think my phy is screwed... i dun think i did paper two well and well, i regretted sitting in to listen to the 'ans' =.= haiz... but i can't think abt it since it's over right? haiz... Tmr is chem but somehow i feel lost these few days... ._. muz do my best though cuz i think paper two was quite alright done..

argh... i shan't think abt it anymore =.=

been infatuated with eragon series these few days... i blame the website shur'tugal ! cuz i went to read the confirmed + loose ends for book 4 ._. so i'm eagerly waiting for the book which will sure to be come out in a few yrs time. BUT! eragon guide algaesia is out!! $41.93 i think. OMG! so fricking ex la!! i'm gonna be broke this month cuz i'm buying sea glass, catching fire and syren...=$60+ . see, broke!i'm also thinking of buying the book of tomorrow but... lols.. one more day to freedom+ sushi!! wahaha!

red camp nxt tue!~ i'm gonna have a wedding dinner this sat ._. see my schedule is packed!! i also want go library..

i feel lost...like i had lost my aim.. my dear friend, are u running away? pls dun.. running away nvr works.. the probs will still be here ..

2009-10-04T17:09:00.002+08:00

yea, as clara put it.. this blog is dead and will be dead until after the o lvls.. lols! it's true i'm nt touching the com anymore... haiz.. so dun expect updates !! i would like to end off with i'm working hard!! and hope to see results >< oh and many books are coming out this month .. wahahahaha!

2009-09-04T20:41:00.002+08:00

haha, blogger is back and working agn (: whee~ i love this short short wk (: haha.... my mood is further lifter after seeing the vid for miss ker.. haha.. it is fricking awesome! woots! all 4e1 ppl shld go see (: shoo~ go! lols. Mon, went town with sz.. bought storm glass and men of the otherworld! Oct is releasing plenty of books o.0! as usual. i muz wait till nov then can buy cuz of o lvl. I intend to use holis to study but i dun think there is no time =.= Rawr! muz study or else sure die for prelims the ...damn... how come a day cannot hv 36 hrs? did i mention i became 3rd job in the last post? lols.. finally leh..lord sunday's date got pushed back till next yr =.= sianz... los.. so dis-related lor my post today.. all babbling... i muz change my blogskin real soon...

2009-08-21T16:05:00.001+08:00

using draft blogger cuz blogger finally gone crazy... haha.... not too bad ba, but it's really diff (: lols. This few weeks, being feeling like i'm juzliving each week as it passes. Got quite a nice grade for chi, a C5 (: not intending to retake. After all , i'm quite satsified. I was nvr good in chinese anyway :P haha.. wish that o lvl can come and go...

kinokuniya finally stocked up on storm glass... :P i wanna go buy soon..haha...

i feel like i'm on the way to pick up and put back the pieces of my messed up study life.. hopefully, it will be fast enough before the o lvl.. i'm starting with physics.. trying to find out why i can't achieve my goal. Looking ahead, i can see physics is probably my fastest improving subject ba.. i nvr really had high expectations of myself. however, this time, it's different. i want it. but i'm afraid that even if i put in my best, it is not good enough. lols, if i never try, i won't know right? i'm far far behind.. about 5 or 6 weeks behind in studying in time... lols...

2009-08-09T16:07:00.004+08:00

hmm... the past week was v. v. hectic! the last two days were great fun :P lengthy post now (:

wed
me, jq, cy and clara went to buy sushi ingredients at fairprice extra. then went to my home to do the puzzle. jm and brenda came as we were starting to do it.it wasn't too bad, we expected to do it over two days. we managed to finish in hrs instead. we divided into small groups. me, brenda and clara did the dolphin + sea. it might be unfair but it took a third of the pic lor! then sm arrived.. she went to help jq. Then sm and jm played chinese chess with my bro. the rest worked on the puzzle directly. I got bored after a while and decided to take some pics. When it is abt 6+? we did finished the puzzle. It glows in dark too. haha, the pic is cool .

fri
after the national day celebration, we went back home to rest before going to jp's icing rm to decorate sz's cake. It isn't profesionally done and obviously cuz it's our first time.. lols. Then we went to kf's house to bake queen cake. We did queen cake at sec 1 so it is a long long time since we really bake them . So we were discussing the steps. Jm was about to finish the first batch when i got a 'brilliant' idea and decided to use shortcut. so instead i screwed up the second batch. so it tasted different frm the first batch . lols... than we took 4 hrs to bake? ard there. lols, after baking we headed to sz's house. met clara and alicia at the mrt platform. Reached and slacked till jessline and wanlin came. Ate dinner and slacked ard. Soon, more ppl came. Yunrui, anni and brenda. brought sz out on i and jq stayed up till 2+am i think.. haha, we slept the earliest i think.

sat
happy bday sz! we woke up ard 7+am . Once i wake up, it was too hot to go back to sleep. According to clara, i slept very cutely? lols. once everyone woke up, we went to prepare the sushi. we were all beginners doing it. haha, it was fun. We chopped the crabmeat and minced(?) it. also had tuna and cucumber as ingredients. lols. me and clara and wanlin took turns doing sushi rolls. (: jessline and jiaqi were doing handrolls. jm and cy did the chopping of sushi rolls. lols. we wait for candy and wanqian to arrive.everyone, except anni, alicia and yunrui, got rdy to go to east coast. Went to je and met with kf. we headed to bedok. splitted up and took taxi there. haiz, our taxi went wrong side =.= so we alighted and walked to meet them. after we found a spot. we ate lunch and played loads of games: murderer and a chi version of AEIOU called 123, wooden dummies. Till 6+ pm. we returned our bikes and went seperate ways after that.

me, jm, jessline,kf,clara and wanlin went to eat dinner. at first we wanted to eat at ecp but it was too far. than bedok, so we went to the bus stop. changed and decided go plaza sing instead. it took an hr trip by bus o.0 so long ... was slpy for the whole trip. after eating dinner, we went back home.

before sleeping, i watched re1 again (: so fun. i want re2 .. anyone hv? haha, i like alice the best... haha (: lols. photos can be found at jq and cy's blog (:

overall, it was fun these few days. after this, it is back to old boring sch days. haiz, sianz...

2009-07-27T20:57:00.003+08:00

quick post, i'm devastated to know that there is no more midnight feature by soo at fm 987. Haiz... i can finally play gunz! thx to my bro.. i'm alright but hates hmwk more than ever. I look around the classrm and the sight isn't exactly lifting, everyone is feeling the strain of sec 4 and looks like all of them hv been steamrolled! i'm way behind studying.. and i juz want to lie back and go against the flow.. yesh, i'm stubborn.haha!!! will probably post somewhat next week-ish but no promise!! lols~

2009-07-20T21:40:00.004+08:00

? there is something weird with blogger or my posting today? the box actually disappeared!! omg... anyways, here to say happy birthday (: to my mum, :P love ya... on the 21st and stefanie sun on the 23rd (: yesh, this is the first time since i'm aware of her b-day... haha... i can't wait for her next album.. oh, good luck to everyone taking MT listening compre this wed :) remember to clean your ears tmr.. haha!

2009-07-18T20:08:00.002+08:00

yes!! i'm blogging today!!! Cuz i went swimming with chia and jia today (: lols, first time i went swimming with my frens without parents supervision! haha, it was fun except for the fact that there's loads of ppl !haha, the two of them said they wanted to swim but in the end we played! haha.we went to je swimming complex! it's been ages since people we started with lazy river and went one, two , three rounds?then both of them went to play the slide... then poor chiayi whacked her head .. lols . we went to the wave pool to laze till the waves start. the waves were huge and the 'rain' was very cold!!then miss gwee kept pushing us on the float towards the rain.. grrr.... stupid miss gwee :D haha... then that miss gwee got problem, she feels that the rain is not cold when my teeth is chattering from the cold!! haha :D after that we talked for a while and with 2 more rounds of lazy river we called it a day (: It was very fun (: haha

yay! going to watch harry potter and the half-blood prince this wed... (: actually, it been a while since i read it, so i forgot some parts haha >< ...

2009-07-12T14:55:00.005+08:00

haha, i wanted to blog earlier but was too busy ._. lols. whole week was packed. Excluding mon, i was out for the rest of the days... I stayed overnight at my grandma's house with my cousin on fri (: hehe~ very fun, we stayed up till 3+am? we really really had a MIDNIGHT snack, which we sat at the kitchen eating ^^ lols. On sat, we woke up early to go to the market to buy food cuz my cousin was cooking . Then, ppl started arriving, my mom and bro and my aunt and cousins. (: then we went to henderson wave(: even though me and my bro were suppsoe to be older then my younger cousins... we heck care-d and join them in sliding down the waves (: LOL. By the time we got back home, it is night. and i wanted to do hmwk but dilly-dallied till 11pm? haha, as usual...

Haven do my eng essay and ss essay =.= so sianz.. and sch is as boring as usual.. Struggling to stick to the schedule...

and here are the pics i promised!! today i saw a cat up a tree... So poor thing, it does not seem able to come down and it keep eyeing the mynars, dunno spelling correct... it is the black bird that is very commonly seen in sg. the birds are so bad they keep flying here and there, taunting it. Haha, so cute lor the cat.. wanted to take pic but i didn't bring my phone and my mum's lousy,*ahem* i meant BUSINESSWOMAN'S iphone camera can't zoom and it was too dark! haiz...
PS:(anyone suggest a blogskin? i can't find one that i fancy...)PSPS:( ytd, was stephanie sun's concert so sad that i can't go :()

the butterfly is extremely small and credits go to my bro (: and i spent a long time trying to take a photo of it..

This rainbow is a circle one... so cool!! ~ and this pic is taken abv our head!

2009-06-29T21:54:00.004+08:00

felt like blogging... no idea why though.. 1st day of sch after holidays sucks.. nearly had remedial, had hmwk and the day crawled past me. obviously when i reached the library, time flew .. haiz, feeling very sianz... Wished tat i go to my bed and keep reading my book but i can't for fear i'll be late for sch tmr =.= ytd post was short cuz i was rushing for time. i still can't find my cable and i'm drowning in books! thats a first.. misplaced my mum library card today. Was found by a kind soul( thank you) and returned to the library. now the library only will release it if i have a letter and mum's ic.. feel sleepy and fell asleep during eng and chem today. i feel sian-ed and haiz... my bday this yr is the day for a maths paper =.= mum's b day coming up soon ... gotta go shop for a present soon.. feeling bored and bored and bored and bored and bored and bored and bored and bored....

rather i live in a world where everything is always interesting and simple.... or able to spend the whole day reading books..

2009-06-28T18:28:00.002+08:00

wanted to upload some pics that me and my bro took on thurs BUT i can't find the cable... forgetful me ._. Will find it and upload it by nxt week ba..

on thurs me and my bro walked past a group(?) of abandoned apartments and had made up a story, wanted to type it out but it is very hard to put it into proper words... lols.. me and my bro spend the last two sch free-weekdays mornings (thurs and fri ) by eating fast food (: haha ~

Fri was going out day (: after a delicious brunch of kfc, met up with chiayi, jiaqi and kayfun at lakeside mrt, sry i was late.. then went sg flyer to meet songzhen.we went to town and walked walked, kayfun bought a very ex ice cream! after longer, we went back to sit sg flyer (: so high ._. the view is awesome ! i became the photographer (: took lots of pics . After flyer, we walked to suntec to eat dinner. walked somemore then took mrt home ... my feet was hurting ._. no idea why though.. i did a stupid thing, i went up the 16th floor instead of my 12th floor ! somemore i had no idea how i did that! because my lift buttons is such as 1 is at the bottom alone and the rest of the numbers are in rows of threes. So if u count, 16 is not even above 12! blur lor me. Bathe and waited for my hair to dry (: slept at 1+am ..

Wanted to update earlier but u know me, i was distracted by a new game called ghost X. It is different.. it is something like an arcade game.. lols.

Sch's starting tmr.. i'm sadded that holidays are over... cuz what is coming ahead isn't fun at all... haiz... by some miracle , i did finish all my hmwk by 3 days!!! haha :D

2009-06-21T21:33:00.003+08:00

Quick post to say i'm alive and kicking !! haha... Gonna chiong hmwk in je lib from mon- thurs... wish me luck ...no it is not a change of heart.. but ( ) (:.. if all goes well i'm going on the flyer on fri.. haha!

i think i'm drowning in books !! help!! too many le!! due date too close le!! argh!!

i feel like a bird whose wings are getting heavier ><

2009-06-16T16:46:00.005+08:00

me is updating (: This few days been chiong-ing D.gray man. Suddenly got tired of playing and so is watching D.gray man online now . And has been watching with my brother cuz he claims he get distracted when i watch it.. Hah! he actually wanna watch but doesn't want to admit only lor.

Ytd, I set a new record, i went library for 1+ hr only! ._. I usually go there for longer and ytd, did intend to stay there till afternoon but jiemin asked if i wanna go see wsp b div play. I was bored at home and so decided to go :P Haha, i was glad that i decided to go (: The match is intense ! o.0 Was sad for their outcome though ...Then me and jiemin ran for our sch bus, the ppl left without telling us! I tell u , their bus very good lor.. got tv somemore! Watch step up 2 on the way back..

Today, went to cut my hair :P it was getting long. jia qi fulfilled her promise of changing hairstyle but it did not work.. my hair is quite fine though.. and we took very long to cut hair..there were a shortage of hairdressers..

Bleh.. can't use the computer later.. was told that i'm on the com too long ... haiz, sianz..

2009-06-09T20:31:00.004+08:00

here to update after a lllooooonnnnnggggg time ! haha, actually it is only 8 days :D. Lols.. Recently , we went to sp.. on mon. I was amazed at the game design course cuz they show a game which was so cool :P the game is called marionettes and the game involves 3 dolls as a team hitting monsters, normal and bosses. smth like mmorpg game like cabal lor.. haha, very cool :P So now i am in a dilemma , dunno to go animation or go game design ._. lols.. i will put both choices in the list but will decide which is first after i go see np the 'ultimate poly experience '09' 8-10 july . i think i'm thinking ahead though ._. lols.. listen and watch hiphop(?) performance.. i think it is very loud.. though i'm fascinated by the ppl dancing (?). lols..

today, played badminton. Me, jiemin, brenda and clara .1 court . 2 hrs.. suppose to hv more ppl but they are busy . haiz.. i played till hv blister on my hand=.= my family aren't sympathetic they are curious though... lols .

tmr, is the last of remedials!!! haha :P i haven start on any hmwk except for eng!!! wahahaha... lols.. looking forward to this thurs ... ._.

recently, either kinokuniya is importing books slowly or they are not importing most of the books anymore.I'm hoping to buy storm glass by maria v snyder and is waiting for eragon's guide to alagaesia by Christopher Paolini and catching fire. i have not hear anything about lord sunday... haiz.. hope it does not fall behind schedule..

waiting for loads of library books to be out :P like made to be broken and the awakening by kelley armstrong, maximum ride : max by james patterson, still waiting for wildewood and sky realm and waiting for my reserved books : industrial magic and fire study...i finally got my hands on anthony horowitz's necropolis!!!! so in other words , i hv a lot of books waiting to be read hahaha...:D

edited: i was suppose to do my eng hmwk now =.= .. and i'm thinking of changing a blogskin!

2009-06-01T14:24:00.002+08:00

just had mt exam in the morning.. I got to say i am really surprised. It was not as hard as i expected. i tot becuz it is an o lvl exam thus it shld be really really hard until i can't understand the passage. Lols. Anyways... it was do-able but that doesn't means i'm able to get high marks . i'm hoping .. but shouldn't get my hope too high .. juz in case..

Meet the parent session on last fri went fine.. i think we are the only pair which took a short period of time to talk to. lols.. apparently she juz want to notify my mum that i can do better and that i juz dun feel like it and that the teachers will do that. haiz... i think i shld be glad at the evaluation but i dunno how to push myself further... or mayb i can't..

2009-05-28T15:53:00.000+08:00

i won't be updating regularly.. gonna chiong maple 2x :P i wanna 3rd job!! haiz.. MYE suxs... 57.5% =.= 33 in the class... sux... praying my MT exam would gv me better results.. For the last time.. i'm giving my all.. AND.. i won't ever re-take MT o lvl.. haiz... tot i did my best this MYE but came back with crap results..dunno how am i suppose to relac during the holidays with 2 wks of holidays only! sigh...

Qn of the day!!!: Why should i do it, if the results are the same?

2009-05-24T21:06:00.003+08:00

sry =.= said i wanted to post but didn't. becuz i was busy playing maple and chiong-ing 2x >.< haiz... nxt mon chi o lvl le...

2009-05-19T18:23:00.003+08:00

:P lazy to update :) lols.. finally i'm un-banned . haha. 16 days without blogging make me lazy to blog .. lols.. during this sixteen days i did play on two days but was focused on gaming . so today's morning and most of the afternoon also gamed. was playing maple ( after so long o.0) and rakion. ytd, decided to go for a run o.0 suddenly felt like running. went for a jog at chinese garden and i think i'm getting old.. run for 15+ mins and i got muscle ache =.= lols.

for the exams i only got a sentence to say: i did my best. though i am very unhappy with myself for the A maths paper 1 becuz my calculator was all the way radian mode .. haiz.. tis sat we are going to asiasoft event at suntec :P woots~ haha.. i'll do a proper update on sat after i come back :P

whee~ back to gaming!!

2009-05-03T14:51:00.002+08:00

:P i'm officially banned frm using the computer till mye are over!! man... hate it. so expect me on the last day of exams which shld be the 17th.. i think... lols.. so fricking longg!! juz had on haircut on fri with miss gwee!! and change my hairstyle again i think... nt by a lot.. since my mum did not really notice it till i told her. my bro was so rude and told me that it was weird when i came home! so bad!! do u know i spend three consective days without playing the comp!! THREE?! it is public holis, sat and sun... Sianz... Today used it becuz i wanted to do my hmwk.. and yes , i'll do it lor..although ss sux...wats up with the LTTE and the government ._. anyways, spend the days playing pokemon, watching vid/tv and playing psp! lols... extreme gamer hor me.. so dun miss me blogging okie:) haha...

2009-04-24T15:43:00.003+08:00

Different cloud shape :) funny hor? the first picture i took it at the middle of the road o.0 haha.

the view of my street :P the flats to the left is my house.

hi shadow !!!

view out of my window. nice cloudless sky :P

Yea, i decided to take photos !! haha :P today mt exam but did not do very well i guess. haiz.. wanted take pics of cats with my phone but my dad saw me.. so i came back home lor. haha :) writing a story this few days. it evolves from the title message bottle :P criterion.. lol .. 8 pages le.. and it will be longer :P haha :) it is my hmwk . i can play ge leh!! lols..

me thinks me got mood swings..but me now a days feel very sianz esp during sch.. lols.. mye dun feel like mye.. how...? this continues sure die de.. but it is so attracting..